What's the best file format to convert from 3ds max to Blender with?

I have a lot of mental ray Arch & Design materials that’d like to keep some of the settings on. I also have a lot of animations in some files, and I’d really like to find a format that doesn’t cause all of my triangulation/hidden edges to be lost so my topology is still readable.

And I know this is probably way too much to ask, but I also have an X-Plane aircraft that has a TON of custom plugin manipulators…I’m almost certain those are lost, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t ask if anyone has successfully brought an X-Plane aircraft model from Max to Blender and kept the X-Plane obj properties and datarefs?

I fooled around with fbx and dae and it appears that neither of them support bezier splines/curves? Which is odd, because that seems pretty standard. I have applied some modifiers to them so that may have something to do with it…but I can’t seem to get those shapes to export…

Which really sucks because both fbx and dae maintained my triangulation.