A Dream of Love's Awakening (*UPDATED*; good example of betterment through feedback)

UPDATED

A second render with adjustments inspired by the feedback (and higher AO/OSA samples):

(compare with the first final render)

Pure Blender 2.42 for both renders. Internal renderer used.

Thank you for your interest in my work,

RobertT

Looks Great!! I love it!

My only crit is that the bottom person’s chin has a sharp angle right at the bottom:

http://img224.imageshack.us/img224/2166/untitledfj1.jpg

Very interesting piece RobertT, sort of reminds me of a baby and the womb for some reason…I’m just curious, do you model all the head models for your art projects individually? Or do you have some base mesh you use? or do you use makehuman? Again, just curious as it seems like it would be a lot of work to make every head from scratch.

Arr Matey!!: Thanks so much! The chin was actually a little more angular and pointy at the tip before the final render but I decided to loosen up the edge creasing almost back to normal. That part could probably be a little smoother though.

maniac4hire: Thank you, maniac4hire. I almost always try to do everything from scratch. This one I actually made partial use of a head I initially made for the “Vacation III: Carefree” when I realized it had the kind of look I wanted for this piece. For animations, like the “Beautiful Music” I’m working on right now, I’m see some benefits to making a main character and then derivative characters for that for animation purposes, especially after rigging and NLA strips. I don’t mind all the modeling though, even though it is a lot of work, because it’s something I really enjoy, and it helps me stay closer to my work and have a better chance of keeping each piece special and meaningful in its own right, even if some stylistic tendencies occasionally manage to enter into the creative situation later.

RobertT

It looks to me a mix between a shiny material and stone.

I’d say good work yet again.

I think it looks really nice, but I personally find the background a little busy, and think it would be nicer with a simpler background.

Great materials as well!

Nice. Good feeling with this piece.

I agree about the chin area there. Very distracting actually. I went right to that when I first looked at the image.

Second, the flow of the mesh in the BG is very distracting and confusing IMO. Also, watch where you place the folds in tha mesh as well. See by my image here:

http://bgdm.katorlegaz.com/robertt_odd.jpg

That area is especially distracting and draws attention away from what you are trying to convery in the piece.

Nice work again bud.

BgDM

I like the concept a lot, but I do find the top of the frame distracting. I don’t know why that dark plastic is covering up the top of the man’s face, and standing between me and the subject.

As a pure abstract, of what is of course an abstract idea anyway, it looks really nice.

Cyborg Dragon: Thanks! The material was inspired by an idea I had of these statues coming alive in a museum, breaking free of their perpetual poses and expressing their true feelings for one another. The roles were reversed here so that it is not the woman at the left, Beauty (i.e. “sleeping beauty”), that is asleep but rather Truth, the man on the right. She is going to awaken him with a kiss, but at the same time he is dreaming of this very act, not realizing it is in fact becoming a possibility if he can get past the fact while he is a statue he can still move and be moved in a certain sense.

Cuby, sundialsvc4, BgDM: Thank you all VERY much for what proved to be some of the best feedback I’ve received and acted upon in a while. I was hesitant to touch this piece because it felt so right, but you did convince me there were a couple of things that could have been tweaked so I took the chance this evening to try a few things differently. I adjusted the lighting slightly, meshes (no more creasing; higher subsurf), material slightly (fresnel, translucency), and the background, which is actually the hair of the lady at the left draping over the man at the right, was adjusted in an interesting way. The foreground hair is a framing mechanism that goes toward the metaphor behind the piece as I began to explain to Cyborg Dragon above. For the background hair I separated the mesh (out of camera view) and was able to work on it more directly so the shadow distribution was not so conflicting with the foreground elements. Then I went into the render nodes and set up an z-offset gaussian blur that added just the right amount of DOF to help everything fall into place.

I posted the first render at a new location so the before/after can be appreciated.

With much appreciation,

RobertT

wow. I haven’t been much for a lot for your abstract work, if I’m being honest (it’s not bad, I’m just not much of an abstraction guy), but this piece is really good. I like a lot.

/me too says “wow”
you got the final render pretty beatiful, i like the shapes, color, reflections, mood.
a great one!

Great changes. Much better imo.

BgDM

Sahweet! Lesbian love!

Just kidding :stuck_out_tongue: Some crits follow:

Its appealing at first glance… A bit mushy on the second (in a romantic soap kinda way)… And a bit plasticy on the third glance.

There is a definite dramatic tension there (due to composition) that makes it interesting but the textures are too simple and sort of point to the fact that the whole image is quite simple.

simplicity is the key man…:wink:

Yeah, this is much nicer. Now, I’d “call it a wrap.” The concept is an abstract one, and the execution as well. The eye stays very tightly focused on the intended subject. Gets straight to the idea without losing the sense of the abstract.

Excellent piece of work.

Too bad the forum doesn’t allow one to change one’s vote for thread rating. :s

MartyJ: Thanks, MartyJ! I appreciate your honesty and comments. I don’t consider this very abstract, but I guess it does have that kind of quality to it.

magoseitor: I really appreciate that, magoseitor.

BgDM: Thanks, and thanks so much again for the great feedback that helped inspire the revisions.

pıkselı: Yeah, simplicity of presentation is really one the essential elements here, with, as I was explaining the setup to Cyborg Dragon, the symbolic woman at the left (Beauty) awakening the man at the right (Truth) in a sort of reversal of the “sleeping beauty” arrangement. The symbolism and the ideas behind this piece are what make it complex and meaningful, at least to me. I think a piece can convey quite a bit of meaning and purpose without being necessarily visually complex. If we stop just at the picture and go with some very basic glances and reactions, then we won’t go very far or appreciate it at the level it could be appreciated. That willingness to delve deeper into a work is not something I expect of viewers of my works, but I still encourage it wherever possible, because before I sit down and blend a project I do a lot of thinking and then further reconsideration as a work develops. I deliberately invest much thought in each piece because I am not out to make pretty pictures or to show the world hey I can blend; I do what I do because I have a lifetime of ideas that I believe are worth expressing and being considered in this 3D medium. I’ve waited many years for this opportunity, to find an effective vehicle for all these thoughts, and Blender has been one of best ways for me to explore those thoughts, although I find also in music, for example, there’s an opportunity of a different order to explore certain ideas and sensations and emotions. So many creative paths to explore.

BleedForMe: Definitely, thanks!

sundialsvc4: Thank you very much, and again for the initial feedback.

BeBraw: Haha, thanks! That actually would be a good feature to implement, since opinions, not just works, can change too, I think :slight_smile:

RobertT