I agree with the comments about the eyes, perhaps you can still use a similar idea, but what if you changed the angles for the different shot then it can add to the dynamics of the piece. Perhaps use a space helmet at times to show the different reflections from the star systems and the like.
Here is an example where you can see what I am trying to say.
The freedom project camera angles really breath life into the characters and add to the story giving it more meaning rather than a repetitive feel.
On the whole I like the idea, maybe work out these things first a little and you will have something to be proud of when you are finished.
By the way, I think you left off the “i” at the end of your name down the bottom;)