Almost finished with this piece, but can't quite put my finger on it

Hello all
I have been working on this piece hard for the last 2 days, and it’s probably my best work, but I still think it could be better. I would appreciate any critique on how I could improve it, Thanks!

2 Likes

I think it looks nice, and I like your use of color.

The screens in the background are a bit distracting, perhaps if they were displaying an image which was not so bright they would not steal attention.

The image does bring up a lot of questions. What exactly is the character doing? With so many cables attached to her back, what is the collar for? Why are there no furnishings in a room with such a huge panoramic window? That’s a lot of equipment laying around on the floor.
Did the cable trays malfunction? If she were to stand up, they’d be dangling waist-high.
Or maybe she is 4 inches tall, and all of this IS on a shelf up high! So many questions!

None of this takes away from the image, and perhaps these mysteries were planned so the viewer asks :slight_smile:.

2 Likes

The first thing I notice is the blue figure and the orange background, as equals in intensity and color interest. They compete for leading character. The contrast between the orange and blue along the figure’s boundary is sharp, but not working in a way of putting one in front and the other in back.

The other intense colors, the red lights and white video screens in the background don’t have that trouble. They work fine, at least in my impression. The big black box on the right has a good contrast with the background for the lower half, with the background having a pale glow. The orange higher up though, seems to compete.

Somehow, that orange background has to be pushed back, or subdued near the foreground objects.

The pose, the alien high-techness is awesome. Lighting… if that were my work, I’d play around with lights some more, but don’t have any specific notions what to aim for. Just try to see what else is possible.

At least, that’s my impression, but I admit I don’t spend much time in cybergirl laboratories.

@darenw

Awesome, I think you are right about all these, thanks for the good feedback!

@Steah

That’s all valuable input, thanks!

I think I know what to work on next

I agree with the Background screen being too distracting…perhaps tone down the brightness and add in DOF to blur it out a bit…For the wing sections I feel you have over-done the decals… the figure itself is enough I believe, so perhaps you could remove some and add-in an emissive shader to the orange stripes on each wing itself and Brighten that whole area…Composition…not so good…I think it would be better if you change to a taller and narrower view, with the camera to the left of this view looking at the figure, rotated to the right…and the interface machine in the background and not so far away…

All in all it has all the elements to a great picture…!!

I don’t think toning down the background or blur would do the job. With blur, the color is still there. The intensity of color is good - makes the image as a whole exciting, lively, adds to the alien or high tech feel.

What might work best is some sort of glow or halo or fog around the main characters, something to prevent the hard transition from blue on an important object to orange on another important object. Soften that transition.

Maybe an intermediate object between the character and the back, like a hanging veil, potted tree (that wouldn’t fit in would it?) or something that’s providing a more localized background for the blue character, something “dull” to not try to co-star with the leading cyberlady, but enhance her, the way backup singers enhances the front star. It could even be of complementary color - orange or orange-yellow - but dull, like brown or beige.

Okay, enough brainstorming… I have to get back to work!

The background is missing atmosphere to give the sense of distance and the box to the right needs some light. It is too dark to tell what it is.