Hi,
This is a pre-visualization (OpenGL render, no texture, solid material) for an animation called: “The first jump”.
I would like to receive as much feedback as possible on all areas: music, animation, camera movements, scene cuts, shot composition, etc…
Any feedback is welcome (positive and negative)!
Please, watch the pre-visualization and let me know your comments:
When finished, render looks like this image:
Thanks in advance!!
Cute idea. I don’t know what it’s called but the camera should have a ‘dizzying’ effect when it’s looking over the edge with the bottle, something to emphasize the height.
Transition of scenes I feel could happen a little faster, I’m thinking maybe you don’t need it and could have the camera animate/move in to position instead…
Thank you, @Nikita! I will work on it… Nice comments!
A few thoughts . . .
“Even when a character is ‘standing still,’ it should not ever stand completely still.” In one shot, several characters, including one that is bent-over, stand completely motionless throughout the shot. There should be some slight amount of movement, because the only things that are completely motionless are dead things.
When the character stands on the edge of the wall, cut to an over-the-shoulder (OTS) shot which shows us what the character is seeing – which should be “terrifying height.” Make us feel like we’re about to fall.
In general, shoot all of the action from several camera positions, with a variety of framing (long shot, close-up, extreme close-up, medium shot, cross-cuts). Choreograph the action, place the cameras, and “shoot film” from all of them (in previz). Next, cut the show together, using these previz shots (with appropriate “stamps” so that you can easily identify them and note frame-numbers). This will determine which shots you actually need to final-render. Eventually you will drop these final-renders into the film in place of the previz, one shot at a time.
As you “cut the show together,” “cut ruthlessly.” :yes: The show should have tight pacing that follows the chosen music.
Be sure that you decide upon the scale of the characters, and that everything including the sets and all props are actually to that scale. (For instance, “one blender-unit (BU) equals one meter.”)
Hey that’s cool !
there are funny stuff and things that work well, however there are also many “first animation’s” mistakes.
There is room for improvements, and many small things that can help getting it better, it’s hard to list them all. But you can still work some simple stuff to improve the final result.
About the edit :
As said , I found some shots a bit long, you can try to get rid at least of 30/40s (or add more well thought action) . It’s always a bit sad to cut some stuff, but it will help getting people watching the animation more into the story.
You can emphasis the goal of the characters (the jump), in various ways, the top shot at Scene 03 PreparandoSalto, can be divided in various shots. Try to see in some movies how they deals with that kind of sequences. The top shot is great, but you can add a narrow shot like if we shoot the face of the bottle (even if bottles don’t have face) .There are many camera tricks to emphasis the fear and the distance from the ground , that moment is important.
Also maybe we can see it before , at the beginning (after 1 or 2 shots) all the bottle look at the trashes so we understand from the start what all this movie is about.
About animation :
There are cool animations here, one things that bugs me much is the lack of volume preservation (squash and stretch) that’s a ‘simple’ thing to tweak to improve the animation. Timing isn’t always perfect, in some shots it’s nice other can be improved.
You can look at this video , I’m sure it will help you improve a lot of stuff in the animation and the framing :
Even if there are many small mistakes , it’s already working great, so every small improvements will just make it better and more pleasing to watch. Try to push it as much as you can and then show it to the world …
And last but not least, it should be “Le petit Paris” in french…
