blender based comic series

That’s right. I’ve made the first issue of a comic series in which most of the images are blender based. All weapons, special effects and backgrounds were made in blender.
The first issue really is technically finished, but I’m still taking suggestions (have to eventually settle). It’s NOT meant to be the most stunningly realistic stuff in the world. I just saw beowulf and a… that just doesn’t work. It’s either a cartoon or it isn’t ya know? But it is meant to be a good comic, like if Beast Wars or Reboot was a comic:

http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/prolouge%201/the_undoing.htm

Also I made two practice scenes, just cause I felt like it. They were of scenes I dreamed up, but had no idea if they would ever fit in the formal series. I figured they’d be good for practice instead:

http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/practice/terraconda_1.htm
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/practice/fight_page_1.htm
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/images/raptor_fight.jpg

First thing to come in mind is, that the pages have TERRIBLE color layot. Cyan as a bg color is a no no. Also you need better textures and light setup. Overall it looks a bit messy.

I think that this would be better if you spread your effort evenly. even things in the same scene looked like they were don by different people. if you finish it, it would probubly be great

I don’t see the problem with Cyan, but I did some darkening and other modifications in gimp. I think the images are much better now, and appear to have a similar art form to each. It no longer looks like straight blender/poser stuff, but I still think it look better. Agian, it’s not meant to be hyper real, comics are not a good place for live action looking images, it just looks wierd.

your current page set up makes it verry hard to follow, the page header is too big which pushes the image down a long way, so you haft to scroll down to see them, then scroll back up to change the page.

the commic itself is so big i cannot view the whole page without scrolling, even with fire fox in full screen on a 19" wide-screen(1440900), it takes up 90% of the screen width . note: quite a few people still use 1024768.

it would be much easier to folow with a page index at one side, or just have a long page like a PDF displayed as continuas

your website is very plain, not helped by the bright blue/green background on most of the pages. it would look much better with a uniform background colour across the entire comic.

allot of the images are badly composed, with relativity bright backgrounds, but the characters almost completely black.

quite a few images seem to have the default blue colour as the background

the HTML is invalid
http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=http%3A%2F%2Fdeafcon1.com%2FDeafcon1%2FPhantom%20Wolf%2Fprolouge%201%2Fpage_11_undoing.htm&charset=(detect+automatically)&doctype=Inline&group=0

please don’t take this criticism the wrong way, it could be very good, but it needs allot more work

your current page set up makes it verry hard to follow, the page header is too big which pushes the image down a long way, so you haft to scroll down to see them, then scroll back up to change the page.

Of all the people I’ve showed this to, you’re the only one to say this.

the commic itself is so big i cannot view the whole page without scrolling, even with fire fox in full screen on a 19" wide-screen(1440900), it takes up 90% of the screen width . note: quite a few people still use 1024768.

I have to scroll down to. Seems like nit picking to me, sorry.

it would be much easier to folow with a page index at one side, or just have a long page like a PDF displayed as continuas

Been thinking of adding that.

your website is very plain, not helped by the bright blue/green background on most of the pages. it would look much better with a uniform background colour across the entire comic.

I see. But then many of the scenes are black themselves.

allot of the images are badly composed, with relativity bright backgrounds, but the characters almost completely black.

not sure what you mean.

quite a few images seem to have the default blue colour as the background

I guess it’s kind of a boring color but what’s he big deal?

the HTML is invalid
http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=ht… line&group=0

Not sure but I think that’s because of your computer. Mine can find the page just fine.

please don’t take this criticism the wrong way, it could be very good, but it needs allot more work

Oh I count on critisim here. Places were I’m the only artist I get raves, but here, everyone either is or thinks they’re an expert, so I’ll get input, not fan service, I’m use to it.

Improvements are on their way.

Okay.

I changed the backgrounds to black, resized the images and removed my banner from the comic pages.
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/prolouge%201/the_undoing.htm
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/practice/terraconda_1.htm
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/practice/fight_page_1.htm

Ok I did a blender comic once but stopped cause I wanted to work on animations - one thing you really want to consider is how to make proper text boxes and have the right fonts. Looks like your using windows paint. Use photoshop or Gimp for this kind of stuff please.
Heres a tutorial http://www.n-sane.net/text-effects/comic-text/index.php

hope it helps some

Don’t take this the wrong way but when you’re asking for criticism, you need to actually change it or not, not just explain why the critique is invalid.

Also, I don’t know if this is just my computer, but when I see the pages they seem really black and the cyan does stick out a bit.

Don’t take this the wrong way but when you’re asking for criticism, you need to actually change it or not, not just explain why the critique is invalid.

Was confused on a few of the critiques. You’ll notice I took a lot of those suggestions in the next few posts. Didn’t mean to sound like I wasn’t going to do anything, I just didn’t really understand what was being said at first, or how to impliment the changes.

Also, I don’t know if this is just my computer, but when I see the pages they seem really black and the cyan does stick out a bit.

Wierd, because I can’t find any images with a cyan backround on my site anymore… one of the things I changed based on the suggestions.

On MS paint. I only use that as an organizer. Actually gimp was used to resize, shade and add a different style. Photo shop was used to add blur effects but later I used gimp for that to… have you guys looked at the new versions made yesterday?

Oh, okay, I didn’t see the new versions… Much better! Anyway, I think my monitor is screwed up anyway. I opened blender yesterday and the default cube was a dark maroon with polka dots.

You really, really need to work on the texturing and materials. You need to re-render your stuff with better lightsetups, now to be frank, most of the pictures do look kind of boring. Also the backgrounds on your scenes need a lot of work, you use a lot of singlecolored materials for sky, like page 4 for and example, and such, so working on those might make this look more interesting.

Also, you might consider making the textboxes white and putting text in them black. Also the page layouts make me think, you’ve never actually read a comic your life, as the way you’ve arranged your pictures looks very random and in some cases scattered.

Also, you might consider making the textboxes white and putting text in them black.

Or at least be more uniform? The thought did cross my mind.

Also the page layouts make me think, you’ve never actually read a comic your life, as the way you’ve arranged your pictures looks very random and in some cases scattered.

More modern comics don’t just have the nice side by side boxes anymore, which is what I was thinking of using at first, but really… I’ll think about it.

Even tough some comics don’t use standard layouts and break the form of conventional comic book layout it doesn’t always work. There needs to be logic within for they layout and even then the end result might be messy and unreadable and the ease of reading is the key element of arrangin comic book panels.

Even tough some comics don’t use standard layouts and break the form of conventional comic book layout it doesn’t always work. There needs to be logic within for they layout and even then the end result might be messy and unreadable and the ease of reading is the key element of arrangin comic book panels.

Really don’t want to sound like I’m blowing you off, keep in mind, I’m trying to uniform my captions and add clouds to my skies (so their not jut boring blue things-clouds kinda like in the image up top-) based on your suggestions, but I do use a sequencial layout when appropriate, read left to right:

http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/prolouge%201/page_13_undoing.htm
he’s a little off I admit, but easy to understand
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/prolouge%201/page_21_undoing.htm

you’re probably thinking of ones like this:

http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/prolouge%201/page_18_undoing.htm
http://deafcon1.com/Deafcon1/Phantom%20Wolf/prolouge%201/page_12_undoing.htm

in which there’s no real sequence of events, these are just examples of what the captions are talking about. Just yet, the frames don’t tell the story, in the next the will just like a regular comic, I promise.

As far as my textures go, not blowing you off there either, your suggestions are why I changed the images a bunch in the first place, but the semi-cartoon feel is, I repeat, intended.

I’ve learned there are a few does and don’t in comic making, here are some don’ts:
boring images for the whole page: you can get away with this sometimes, but don’t test your luck (really hard to avoid, and I thank all for the tips that I was headed this way)
real or real looking images: looks like you took a photo alblum, rearranged the photos, added some dumb effects and called it a comic. No one ever likes them.
half or mostly real images: looks like you tried to do the last point, but failed miserably or half assed it.

Thanks for all the help guys!I fixed the captions and a few of the skies, as well as used gray scale on a few images (that suggestion came from another forum).

torkuda,
I checked out the Undoing and it seems like you have fixed or are working on most of the suggestions, so I’ll just give you some encouragement to keep working ot it!

A couple, er, a few, ok… several suggestions.

  1. Organization. From your site, I can’t tell which stories are which.
    The menu list seems to indicate The Undoing is a prequel to the other text-only stories - is that correct? It’s a bit unusual to have a graphic prequel to a text story!
    I also found it very hard to navigate around the site basically - it was quite confusing. For example, I couldn’t tell what was a link button, what was text, etc, and had to just click on everything.
    Plus, if you have a black background, your text needs to be brightened up to be visible now.

  2. Inside the comic, please continue to work on the colouring of the text and graphics. I suspect you have a bright or brightly adjusted LCD monitor, and that may explain a lot of the “it’s too dark” comments. Looking at it with a CRT, it is very hard to view. This is a common issue, getting the dark scenes to an acceptable brightness on most monitors.
    Also the texture/detailing work. You should never really throw on a completely textureless object. Even if it’s just a quick cloud or noise texture, it makes a lot of difference. If you want a more cartoony look, then use some of the render options that strengthen that appearance rather than just leave off any textures. Good comics hint at details, leave suggestions of details, but that’s hard to do in 3D without textures or details. And focal blur.
    The key is to balance detail and tooniness to get the attention/focus where you want it. Plain objects will tend to stand out as abnormal rather than recede as unimportant. Unless of course they’re too dark to see anyway :slight_smile:

  3. Having white text boxes would clear up a lot of the readability. Remember to always add the text AFTER you resize the pictures.
    Speaking of text, the layout of the panels is sometimes an issue. I think a big part of it is the position of the text boxes, not just the colours. Remember you should ALWAYS read across and then down. There seemed to be a number of times where the text was a small part of the picture, and at the bottom on the left side, and then there was more near the top of the line/page to the right side. That and some other sequences were confusing.

  4. You could try to treat each horizontal line on the page as a single frame for the text, and try to drop each text box lower as you go across the page, then make sure that text on the next line of panels is obviously lower than the one above, on the right .

  5. Brighter, more definited panel frames would help too. The text flow was confusing partly because it was hard to make out when one panel ended and the new one started.

  6. I think the “history telling” pretty much worked okay for this prelude, but it was starting to get a bit too long - too much telling and not enough showing. Other than the length, the plotting and pacing seem pretty good, it drew me along despite the difficultings in viewing. After this I’m expecting to see more characters than just a villian though.

  7. Oh - the colours again. Glad to hear you’re adding clouds for the skies. Almost all but a few frames look like it’s a night scene - was that really needed? Sure, black is arty & cool but it gets to be a strain. It also looks like you’re trying to hide a lack of effort. “I’ll just do a shadow and outline! That will be fast!”

Well, that’s enough suggestions for one day, I bet you’re thinking!

torkuda,
I checked out the Undoing and it seems like you have fixed or are working on most of the suggestions, so I’ll just give you some encouragement to keep working ot it!

A couple, er, a few, ok… several suggestions.

  1. Organization. From your site, I can’t tell which stories are which.
    The menu list seems to indicate The Undoing is a prequel to the other text-only stories - is that correct? It’s a bit unusual to have a graphic prequel to a text story!

Most links have icons, however, not the comics right now, since most of them aren’t done. They’re not intended to remain text stories. Read my updates section, it explains a little.

  1. Inside the comic, please continue to work on the colouring of the text and graphics. I suspect you have a bright or brightly adjusted LCD monitor, and that may explain a lot of the “it’s too dark” comments.

My text boxes need to be black and WHITE not gray huh? Also, there is one scene that seems a bit dark to me even, the invasion of Grant.

  1. I think the “history telling” pretty much worked okay for this prelude, but it was starting to get a bit too long - too much telling and not enough showing. Other than the length, the plotting and pacing seem pretty good, it drew me along despite the difficultings in viewing. After this I’m expecting to see more characters than just a villian though.

You will, and this is the only history comic I’m gonna do.

Well, that’s enough suggestions for one day, I bet you’re thinking!

People seem to like it, so I’m actually finishing this one up. After all, the actual story need to be comicified soon right?