Complex Cloth Sim Freezes Blender! HELP Needed!

is there any chance you would mind looking at my scene:

I can’t get it to work at all in 2.81, and even in 2.79, as soon as I include collision objects, it does the exact same thing as my 2.8 scene (immediately, before it even comes close to colliding with anything).

Sorry to hit you up directly, but I didn’t get any responses on my thread