Cyberpunk Demon Girl

(zingzong) #1

Here’s something I’ve been working with…but doing it alone without feedback make me feel unsure of direction I’m taking… I am nearly finished with the character, so I feel like this is the right time for asking. I can make last changes necessary before I finalize it :smiley:
I would appreciate you guys’ feedback and critiques…
So I beg of you…


The Demoness’ name is Rosemary Clarke-(Known as Code name Dea to the Government), and was abandoned in human world since she was merely 4 years young. Later captured by the government, and experimented/ grown by the hands of scientists. The government saw huge potential of her magical abilities and started field testing her in actual war. Seeing the actual war, and death of people by her power, she refuses to kill anymore and goes against the military order.
After that event, the government and the military decides to put a leash on her to control her, and performed specific procedures to suppress her emotions.
However, she manages to escape. With free of her emotions wildly thrashing inside, she cries for hours hiding inside a city sewer. She is now lost, with no mission, no directives, she aimlessly ventures through the city’s shadow, hiding from the watchful eyes of the government.
As she wanders, she discovers a strange building that seemed out of the place. Made of wood instead of metal, and completely separated from the grid. She decides to take residence there.
She soon learns that this is an old church, and meets an old pastor who takes her to his care.
With him, she gets to meet and know with many people, some even of her age.
She tries to look tough, and unbreakable, but learns how is it like to have a family and friends.
But alas, she soon learns that she cannot run away from blood on her hands, as she now has to kill to protect.
Name: Rosemary Clarke
Age: 9
Height: 130cm
Weight: 22kg
Characteristic: Brave, extremely intelligent, and often cold. However every emotional inside, and cares for another deeply.
Goal: Help orphans like her, Find her Family
Like: Animals, Key Chain Dolls, Specifically Strawberry Pop Tarts, Family/ watching other family reunion after a service. Children of her age, Pastor Clarke
Hate: Insulting/ reminding her of her orphanage, killing

  • Magic: Material Manipulation, Atomic Manipulation, Nigh-Omnipotence, Space Manipulation, Energy Manipulation. (but her powers are controlled by the government through a collar on her neck)

  • Tech: Hacking, Full understanding of contemporary physics/biology/chemistry, Cloaking

  • Combat: Expert Sniper, Commando, Squad Leader, Expert close combatant, Expert hand to hand combat, flight, extreme weight threshold, extreme stamina, extreme speed

  • Primary: double Platformed 20mm Railgun/ .308 Battle Rifle (Former)

  • Secondary: twin .50 Desert Eagle

  • Tertiary: 9mm Pistol Knife

  • Melee: Byeol-ungeom (별운검: 別雲劍), meaning “cloud-splitting sword.”

  • Armor: Carbon Nanotube Composite Exosuit

(zingzong) #2

Here are some versions/ renders that I dropped.


(Simon Storl-Schulke) #3

Absolutely stunning! Really nice detail on this charackter. The hair could need some more detail. The right arm in the first image looks somehow off, maybe it’s too small, it took me some time to even find the hand. In general it lacks some visual clarity. The second render is much better though.

(zingzong) #4

Absolutely stunning! Really nice detail on this charackter. The hair could need some more detail. The right arm in the first image looks somehow off, maybe it’s too small, it took me some time to even find the hand. In general it lacks some visual clarity. The second render is much better though.

I agree. I think it has to do with her pose/ loads of details on her hand. I tried changing her pose slightly and rendered it again. How’s it now?

(Kelthor) #5

The quality of the character is top notch, but the render itself seems kind of blurry, no? Don’t want to sell such a great creation short.

(zingzong) #6

Ah! I think it’s blurry due to wrong option on image optimization? The original file was like 20Mb so it won’t load on blenderartist…

Hold on, let me try to get the better looking one here…

(zingzong) #7

Damn it, they are still blurry… try clicking on them, that brings the full resolution it seems :slight_smile:

(verybinary) #8

Looks great, love the tail accent, the outfit so looks like the rabbit from Zootopia, Dont know if accidental, or inspiration.

(zingzong) #9

Huh, didn’t realize that. I don’t know. I was more inspired from Japanese school swimsuit actually.

(alf0) #10

actually it,s a nice work,
i liked the outfit a lot , and the textures are great,
one of the things that makes me hate doing something hard like this ? is that it gets damn to hard on rigging it XD

(alf0) #11

nice work, actually i like the outfit a lot,
one of the Maine reasons that makes me hate doing hard models like this ,is the rigging part XD

(mcurt09) #12

An awesome character design, nice work. I’ll give some critique if you’re looking for it. The renders suffer mostly in their composition and readability. The amount of detail is impressive, and it definitely works for the head/shoulders area and for the boots. However, the level of detail in the center of the character is high enough that it becomes crowded and hurts the readability of the image. I think that either different lighting, more contrast (in roughness and color), or fewer assets would help in distinguishing the weapon from the props from the body, etc. In the renders with the magic-casting pose, I think there is too much distracting from the character. The orange streaks, dust, reflections, glare, and magic symbols are just too heavy, even if they add to the story. Consider toning down these effects or moving most of them behind the character, and using a strong rim light to separate the character from the background. Again, the character is really cool so nice job.

(Mike J. Gee) #13

Hi there…
well there’s nothing to add to, what others just mentioned concerning the overall Character design. Well done!

You ask for critiques?

Well, there is something, which cold be adjusted. The face. - And this is the real hard part of an unique character design and often told as the “creme-della-creme” of design abilities. What do I mean:

You attached a brief description of the character. Well. Most of the essential attributes are not represented in the face expression. The expression is (besides some slight variations from one render to the next) nearby uniform. The “sadness” you describe, the “coldness”, the “anger” in some situations and so on and so on are not visible.

I know, yes, expressions in a face, regardless whether human or non-human is the hardest part in character design. But maybe you have yet some expieriences in that field. And/or you found/can find some references on different moods of a character and their representation in a face. THAT would give your otherwise stunning piece of art, that special last kick, to be unique and seperated from the crowd.


One other thing: Composition. It’s quiet well, but in some cases ones eyes are catched at the wrong point in the arrangement. As an example: The intensity of the right hand and the tail-tip is extremly high, cause of the nearby goin’ into white glow shader. So if you intend to chatch everytime the first look into this points, well, ok. But if you want to “tell another” story, well you should lead the eye into this other direction first. The same thing applies to the lamp at the upper chest. Maybe it’s to overthink, whether the glowing parts of her body are always in the same intensity. Maybe only in case of real acting in sense of using the “magic”. Only some rougth thoughts about it in general.

(zingzong) #14

I second to that, which I realized someday later I punished the model for entry- I definitely think I overdid it on the little details, it damaged the general silhouette of the character. There’s too much on it that I don’t think rim light would help much- especially when the color of her is mostly black…

Here’s the removed background and much more simplified version! I had to remove her signature sword in compensation of her general sillhouette that she gives…

(zingzong) #15

I agree with your points here! The expression does fail to deliver her personality. Her original expression was emotionless,

and also had a helmet in some versions…

and I didn’t realize her tail and her hand were so distracting, but yeah. Perhaps I wanted to emphasise too much on the fact that she could use magic? I probably should tone it down a bit more…

(zingzong) #16

Her hair prototyping…

She also had a gun at one point :smiley:

(zingzong) #17

The details on her collar

And on her back!