Do you feel tired after a long day of work, only to discover that you need to run a marathon? Has your porno-watching session been interrupted because the local power plant blew up?
FEAR NO MORE!
Introducing the Energy Sucker 5000!
This little beauty is capable of sucking the life energy from anything (or anyone) you put inside it’s chamber, and quickly* processes it into a safe and tasty liquid, which is then stored in a container, ready to be drinked! Viagra has got nothing on this!
What’s more, using the easily movable** Energy Pluggo, you can convert all that life energy into electricity for your house! Impressive!
How much does this marvel cost? Well, you can get it from our online store for only $99.99***. Hurry, because supplies are limited****!
*- Processing may take up to 3 hours per pound. Accelerating the machine may result in a Texas-wide explotion.
**- We are not responsible for any fractures received while moving this machine.
***- Shipping and Handling comes at an aproximate of $300 billion. Express Mail is available.
****- After our 200 billion models are sold, no more are expected.[/i]
