Escape from Mill Station TEASER 1 HD 1080P

Let me know what you guys think :slight_smile:

There’s a lack of content and trying to compensate that, the clip fails with no story

Storyboard outlines the story and puts the key events in that story into pictures. You’ve called the clip a teaser with full caps so it better be teasing the viewer with those highlights. There’s one (1) highlight at the end of the clip, but the problem is that it’s filled with stuff that is not coherent nor interesting enough to sit around to come to that. When that is shown eventually, it doesn’t explain anything shown before or during.

The whole clip is one shot and most of it is waiting for something to be shown, for over minute and a half

forum probably scales this, here’s the full version

  1. opening with “you have to land the plane”. the viewer would expect someone flying in the next shots, maybe a chaos
  2. no chaos. half filled frame of some nature shot
  3. more nature
  4. after the first dialog the viewer is expecting to see a plane, but after 19 second wait, that might be a plane there
  5. yup, definitely a plane. wait, what building was that
  6. still a plane, and someone standing there
  7. after waiting for the virtual camera to take its time and land, then it’s about the person who has found a rock and he/she has a stare contest with it
    8-10. it takes 20 seconds waiting for that person to be harassed by birds for no reason
    11-13. another 11 seconds of nothing before showing something interesting

The video doesn’t show key events, it doesn’t explain anything, just one shot of random elements put together. Random, because there’s no story. There is something interesting at the end of the clip but the clip tortures the viewer before showing that, and most won’t stick around torture for long if they can choose not to. And if they’re forced to, they won’t be happy about their whipping even if you give them a cold drink afterwards.

Thanks for the constructive and detailed feedback.
Yeah this is a very early look.
None of the other characters have been modeled yet so I cant really build any story / interaction scenes yet.
Its perhaps a little early for a teaser but heck I thought I would throw it out there anyways :slight_smile:
If you want to see more story you can view the opening cinematic storyboard here:
That would probably be my next teaser but I have to model all the characters first.
So far I have just been blocking the game out.

Right, that’s more like it. Not sure if a teaser needs to be that extensive, but you know what I meant. Needs content so the viewer doesn’t have to sit waiting, and enough visual storytelling so the viewer doesn’t have to think hard to figure out what is being shown.

Not sure if there are some sort of definitions or guidelines on what is a tv spot or a teaser, and what is the difference between a teaser and a trailer. What I think those mean is that a tv spot is a very short teaser, a teaser is also short but shows something essential to the story, and a trailer reveals more about the whole story.

A bit like this
Annabelle: Creation Teaser #1
Annabelle: Creation Trailer #1

The teaser is about the main character and its/her creation, literally
The trailer shows more about the place, characters, and outlines the story

A teaser with your story could maybe be something like:
Storm, plane flying, plane interior shot with audible chaos, crash site from behind showing the trail, the plane, and the mill station. Maybe also show character(s) moving towards the building, maybe an interior shot from that, and end with some dramatic event.
That would show that the crash is an essential event in the story, the building being an essential part of the story by visually pointing towards it and also progressing to that, and then something happens there, which is why there’s a need for escape. Doesn’t reveal parts of the whole story but shows the essentials, and visually spells out the main title “Escape from the mill station”.

Short, many cuts, hectic or calm mood even with many cuts. Just don’t go all Michael Bay on it with 24 cuts per second :slight_smile:

Thanks again for detailed comments.
Yip next one will be a step up :slight_smile: