What is it that men in today’s society are struggling with most? It is not something that many would admit to, yet we all have done it at some point in time. What I am talking about it the monster known as Pornography. Please if you have a problem with porn, post here. I am being genuine when I say that it is ok to admit it, because what are we others on the this site gonna do? Go tell your wife? Go tell your classmates? Use this thread as a tool please.
Haha, a Morman guy I work with busted his cable modem with a hammer the other day because he couldn’t stop watching girl-on-girl porn.
I’ve had the internet since I was 13, got tired of it a long time ago. I wish that guy could just find more constructive things to do with the internet instead of busting his modem. The root problem isn’t with the porn, it’s with the people who have an obsession with porn. You’ve gotta come to certain realizations and learn self-control/patience, or get a wife/girlfriend.
I also think it’s funny you single out guys here, I have girlfriends who love porn more than I ever did.
well thats probably the best way to remove the tempatation. ya know?
I hardly think that’s going to work, it’s on cable/satellite TV, behind convenience store counters, and all kins of other easily accessible places. Maybe it’d work if he was too embarrassed to buy it, but he did tell all of us about the cable modem incident so that doesn’t seem plausible.
This is definitely a struggle for many guys (myself included!) I read thru oxman’s reply on this subject and wanted to quote that here, since I think it has real value. (oxman, if this is not okay, please let me know, and I’ll edit/delete it!)
From this thread:
You have it all wrong. You say you know it is bad and yet it sounds like you don’t know why it is so.
You have become a slave to your desires through your eyes. But worse than that, you base your lust on unreality, on fantasies of your mind stimulated by images of people you do not know. You are spending your passions on yourself instead of an actual love relationship with a real person. By the time you actually develop a relationship it will be totally disfunctional because you have molded your passions to your unreal fantasies. You have become a slave to your eyes and yourself. You have created your own mental prison which will become more and more difficult to escape. You will not be able to love someone for who they are because they can not conform to your corrupt mental prison. Another words, you are loving a thought of your own mind instead of a real person. The image in your mind can not love you in return because it is not real. That causes greater and greater depths of trouble because you will never be satisfied with anything but true love. You are misapplying natural impulses intended to be shared with another human being. All the while you are expending youthful energy and consuming yourself. Those same creative energies applied to something productive will give you the means to escape the drudgery of your self created misery. Those people you look at are posing for a camera. Not for you. Yet you warp your mind to think they are focusing on you, you make believe, you live a lie. That is part of the illusion that imprisons you also. Then when you are really sick you finally try to force someone else into your fantasy world. By then you’re not only hurting yourself but others also. Even if you can get someone to participate in your illusory world it is only in the context of their own illusions and not in real love for you. Very sad really and only one escape - seek the truth. Stop delighting in living a lie.[/quote]
Avoiding/removing the source of temptation is a good step to take, but as shbaz said, is not always possible.
Sigh… Some guys have all the luck… hahaha…
Seriously, porn in and of itself is not evil or even a problem. You just have to learn self-control so you don’t let things that may be addictive to your personnality consume you. It may be hard and it will require discipline but that’s life.
I love tools, that is one of my addictions (even have this little contest going with my dad that is really getting on my mother’s nerves, but I digress…) I’d love to buy a super spiffy table saw but I have nowhere to put it. I have to build a garage. I can’t build the garage until the basement is finished and I can only work on the basement when I can afford the materials, a little at a time. Self-control, if I don’t exercise self-control my wife will do it for me and that’s always unpleasant…
He didn’t happen to mention where he got this porn did he? I’m just asking for uh… a friend of mine.
I’ve never really had much of a problem with pornography. Sure I’ve probably downloaded over 200GB worth in my lifetime but that’s not what I’d call a problem.
After a while, you get to the point where it doesn’t hold you any more. I guess at the start it was a problem and I used to run up big telephone bills just to get my first 320x240 glimpse of people doing it. I can’t remember if it was the masturbating hurting my eyes or trying to make out what body parts I was actually looking at. Some clips were really bad.
In some ways I feel that I should have spent more time with real women but I never found many girls attractive. Then when you find a girl, you have to go through the whole dating thing and relationship thing only to discover she’s been round every guy in your town already or she wants to wait until she’s married.
I prefer porn because it’s just easier. It also helps you figure out your desires and how to perform good sex (in theory). I can also switch it off when I feel like. You try switching a women off after sex without the use of sleeping pills crushed in a glass of juice (trade secret).
The fact of the matter is, with the prevalence of porn, it seems to me that the women worth going after are becoming more uptight than ever and the sluts more promiscuous. It leads to a very frustrating environment.
Having said that, pornography and the ever growing lure of sex also has a very dark side and it can be the making of some of the vilest people imaginable:
I sincerely hope the story turns out to be false but given the state of society these days, I fear very much it won’t.
Thanks guys? It wasn’t really what I was excpeting but I guess thats cool…
Just out of curiousity, what were you expecting?
I asume the title for this thread refers to the great book Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time
Check this out. http://www.cefc.com/adults/puritymin.html
The reason I avoid porn is because I find myself looking at women as objects rather than people. Its fun for awhile, but then I start to realize how simple I’ve become. I like to hold myself to a higher standard. Not that I’m perfect…
Thanks for the link, erich. I read some of the reviews for this book there at Amazon, and found the following one interesting - not because it wasn’t too favorable, but because of the perspective it takes on the issue of porn & sex: that of a woman counselor. (I presume that the reviewer is being honest, and of course, I cannot vouch for her sources and statistical data.) Very interesting read that I thot was of some benefit to this kind of discussion.
I’ve always been under the assumption that the girls who engage in pornographic activity were under some kind of coercion or were being blackmailed or bribed or otherwise forced to participate. I’ve always assumed that they were “innocent” victims of the industry. This has led me to assume that men who “support” porn are ultimately guilty of being the end cause of this “oppression”. This line of thought tends to make a guy think that all women are innocent - simply the victims of the situation. I guess this commentator (above) reminds us that they are just as human as men are, and altho they are not necessarily to blame, they are not always innocent either.
I am addicted to porn. the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right? What can I say, I love girls. God made them so beautiful. My problem is not that porn is bad for you… don’t get me wrong, it is destructive. I’ve been watching porn since i was 15 ( I guess I got a late start compared to some). The real problem, I’ve discovered, is that after watching porn so much, other girls become less desirable. I see a girl that I find extremely attractive, but I know that she won’t satisfy me because i don’t love her. I’ve gotten tired of sex because it does nothing for me. I used to think that I could just quit and I’d be fine, but even after I had quit, I still had a very hard time with my imagination running wild whenever I saw an attractive girl. I think the reason porn is destructive is that it causes a man to think of sex as something that is as normal as say, making a sandwich. When you first heard about sex, didn’t you value it highly? I did. Now that I see it everywhere and I can get sex with any girl that I want, it has almost no meaning to me… and that is very sad. Sex is meant to be something very meaningful between a man and a woman who truly love each other. If the man truly loves his wife, he will do all he can to make sure she is satisfied and he gets pleasure from that. Have you ever seen the look on a child’s face when she/he gives his mom or dad a present that the child has made himself? The child loves his mom or dad so much, that he took the time to create something as best as he could in order to please his parent. And to see the pleasure on his or her parent’s faces is extremely satisfying and wonderful for a child. I think this is a good analogy. I think all men want a woman that belongs to them and that they can provide for and satisfy. A woman that he will buy a ring for just to see the pleasure on her face, not to get something from her. True love is selflessly giving, asking nothing in return.
You should never be led into stereotypes about men or women. That’s what makes court cases fall apart. Is it ok for a female teacher to seduce a 15 year old male student but it’s not ok for a male teacher to seduce a 15 year old girl student. Men and women are both equally human and suffer similar temptations. You must remember that men are in porn too and there are female directors.
I know, and then he’s got the cheek to tell us not to fantasize about them.
Yeah, that’s how I feel too. If you know there’s better, it’s hard being content with most of the mediocre offerings around.
I think that goes for a lot of things these days and I think it’s probably the reason why a lot of people are unhappy despite apparently having better living conditions than ever.
Yeah but it’s points like that remind me why porn is there. Porn isn’t there as an alternative to women (or men). Porn is there to make up for a deficit in real relationships caused by human behaviour. Ugly people have little to no chance of getting laid by beautiful women and that’s because society looks at people from the outside. To make up for this, people realised they could make money from helping those people out by providing them with the intimacy (albeit false) that only a deep relationship could provide.
Porn is not a bad element of society. It is a product of a bad society. There was infidelity and the breakdown of marriage before porn ever came to light.
I agree. Unfortunately… its like this… The gun is not bad, its how you use the gun that can be bad. The gun can tempt its user by making him feel powerful and in control, but when its all over the person is forever changed.
I everybody. I’m kinda new here. I think that the biggest problem with porn is
that it portrays sexuality in a very vulgar way. Just my opinion…
If anyone wants to know, the reason I ever started looking at porn was probably my insane curiosity. I was tired of everyone (society) hiding truths from me. I soon discovered that all the stuff I was finding was not exactly what I was looking for. And one day I typed “tasteful porn” into Google and found my way to a site that has changed my life(or at least my views on a lot of things) -->http://www.domai.com
Also another good site:http://www.sss-now.org
This site can teach you how to have multiple/continuous orgasms(girls and guys). If I’m not mistaken, the whole point of porn is to increase stimulation and therefore orgasm, but who needs that if you can orgasm for hours! :o
The thing about porn, is that, it is basically the only corrupt thing on the internet (excluding illegal file-sharing). And of course, since it is the only legitamate corrput thing, a high majority struggle with it.
But the best cure I have is from the Bible: If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.
As we speak, I am typing with two stubs.
If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.
In my opinion, it is much better to heal something than to destroy it. It would be all too easy to blame things just so that you have a reason to get rid of them.
Yes but in order to heal some damage must be done.