First im sorry for you and your wife’s loss, I just lost my grandmother recently and would like to extend my sympathy to the both of you. Its hard to deal with a loss, expecting to have that person in your life to talk to and gain wizdom from and hell, even just have a few laughs sometimes.
This might sound inconsiderate and slightly inhuman, but when i was told she had passed on (was in bed reading LOTR) i just thanked them for the news and thought about it for a while and then went back to reading my book, no tears and no emotional outbursts.
I do try my best to remeber the person for what they were and just realize that it was their time to expire, and the only pain from that is the ones left behind without the dececed.
I’v never really feared death, to fear death is like fearing what things were like before you were born. A mystery none of us will probably understand until we take that journy, and who knows, after we do maybe we will be happy for those who have passed on before us as it could be a better place, if anything at all.
Again, im sorry for your guyz loss, but take the time to remeber the best things about your father inlaw, good times you had and advice he gave you. Try your best to celebrate his life, rather than mourn his death, for the pain and feeling of loss will pass and hopefully those will be the memories you are left with, all the good ones.
Blend on, and blend well!!!