First animated scene - need Feedback

This is the first full scene I have ever attempted to animate. It’s a man aiming to shoot a deer and failing. Need feedback and critique on the animation, camera movement, cuts/transitions etc.
Please ignore the choppy movement as I have rendered with stepsize 5 for a faster render.
Also trying out the webp format for the first time for posting here. Thanks to @Boder for suggesting webp format on another thread.


Hi, I think this works pretty well, especially for a first try !
I’d try this : right before the deer hops off, I’d insert a shot with it turning its head towards the hunter (towards the camera), then the moment the hunter shoots, I probably would frame it from the tip of the barrel instead, and have an additional shot showing that the bullet misses, bouncing off the railing or something, with a close-up on the hooves for instance… something like that.

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Thanks @Hadriscus for your feedback. I will try it out.

Great work!
I think the 2nd clip (deer alone) can be removed… instead in the 1st clip stay on the deer for a bit, then track back more quickly (so it feels more like a “reveal”) to establish the soldier’s presence. From there cut to the 3rd clip (soldier from front), but make that bit shorter, and the camera can be stationary. Agree that final clip can benefit from the above advice - iron-sight framing may also work, but feels like the last clip needs more of a sense of motion.
Looking forward to final animation. :+1:

Thanks zeroskilz! Will work on these suggestions.

Updated animation based on feedback from @Hadriscus , @zeroskilz . I think definitely looks better than the previous try though has plenty of scope for improvement. Eagerly awaiting further feedback. Also attaching a textured and lit version.

Much improved!
Careful of crossing the line and only do it with intent:

Once a left-to-right order has been established between two subjects, if the camera crosses the line between them, the next cut should have a swapped order. i.e. in this example the 2nd clip(front view of soldier) briefly crosses the line, but in the next cut the order is back to the other side of the line… that disrupts the “flow” of the cuts. Avoid that.

Good luck!

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Thank you so much! I was feeling something was off, but never could figure out such a basic mistake. Thanks a lot!