After further experimentation…
I came across this thread here while doing endless amounts of Googling to figure out what the hell I’m doing wrong.
They provide a link to the .blend file, which I grab, then proceed to reconfigure to match what I’ve got going on in geotrees. And what do you know, IT WORKS!
So now that I’ve verified that it should work under normal circumstances, I have to now search for the variable in my node tree that’s screwing me over.
…woo. party.