I have tried to find it on youtube but nobody answered. I added a mesh object and changed its color to pink and appended a nother mesh object thats white and its now pink and when I change its color it changes the other meshes color im new to blender so any answer will help also ti always selects the other object unless i touch the objects name
Maybe one of your objects is an instance of the other.
How did you append the second object, is it the same object as the first?
Edit
Try going to object-relations-make single user-object & data & materials.
This will totally separate the two objects.
Ok im sorry for writing you but I have no idea where object relations are 
All this is very basic, you should folow some basic tutorials
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa1F2ddGya_-UvuAqHAksYnB0qL9yWDO6
Edit this is the one that explains object relations:
Edit sorry it does not explain your specific case but I do recommend you watch the series as they explain many things
THANK YOU SO MUCH! 
it worked
You are welcome. 