@Michael_Joseph I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. Please try to find help - this could be anything from a counselor or a trusted teacher at school, (parents of) your friends or professional help. It looks like you’re based in the US; if that’s true you can text or call 988 to access the National suicide prevention hotline. They’ll listen and can support you to get the help you need. Understand that this is above Blender Artists’ pay grade - people here can make suggestions but we can’t know your personal situation. Please reach out to get the help you need and deserve.