HORROR: Cry of Anubis - To Be Continued...?

Cry of Anubis

Downstairs had always been that place to avoid at night. I was always sure never to have a reason to walk those deep stairs. By night, I am imprisoned by this fear of the ground floor and it’s only sometimes that I don’t feel the coldness like a damp evil seeping from below.

I am less afraid when I can hear them. The quietness always makes me wait and turns every shadow into an eerie suffocation. Where are they when I no longer hear them? Do they return to their mysterious realms or are they always here, as present as the nightfall.

Usually, there were only loud thuds to be heard but this night, amid the familiar sounds, was a hard shudder that tamed the house into a dead silence. Suddenly, I felt peaceful again but this feeling…was now a dark stranger to me and I would never trust a stranger in my house. I needed to be sure that this was the end of this nightmare and not my own wishful convictions.

I turned to the old clock in my room but time seem to stand still and sunrise was still a long night away. Getting out of bed and peering out the window, I saw nothing but a calm, cloudy night. I fliped the lamp switch but there was no light to kill the shadows. It would seem that darkness has ensured its dominance by shrouding the house into a black mist. I could only see what the darkness allowed me to see and I was now at the slavery of its silent rule…

To be continued…

50 YES votes required for the continuation

I hope you enjoyed the read

decent, but needs more action, same amount of imagery.
maybe when he gets up it will be better.
or maybe you are writing ‘the pit and the pendulum II’
but 50 votes?

Um. You wrote a whopping four paragraphs, short ones at that… It is a bit awkward at times;

I was always sure never to have a reason to walk those deep stairs.

Lacking proper editing at times;

I fliped

but that isn’t to say that it couldn’t be part of a perfectly interesting story. Anyhow. It is rusty, it needs polishing, and you have barely even written an intro. It isn’t at a stage where heavy criticism can be leveled - you’ve hardly started.

Ok mybe 50 votes is a little too much, I admit. I guess I’m just trying to get myself inspired. Tell you what, I’ll update the paragraphs and add some more before I start writing the continuation. I have no plan for this short story, I write it as it comes so keep the feedback rolling in.

Thanks

Jon

i voted, NO sorry that i oted no. its just i can’t be arsed reading it at this time of night (i am super duper tired LOL)

so any writing style that includes words i am not currently fond of at this particular time LOL.

Alltaken :expressionless: :expressionless: :expressionless: :expressionless:

Maybe go for ten votes OVER the opposite. That way the ‘no’ votes have some influence as well. Ten 'yes’votes more then ‘no’ votes then continue, the other way around… wel, it should be evident.

By the way, I voted yes :wink:

yeah so you can remove my no vote. but it should eb on a percentage. 80% yes votes you should continue.

Alltaken

Downstairs had always been that place to avoid when it was dark. By night, I am kept by a fear of what I’ve never even seen with my own eyes and it is only sometimes that I don’t feel the coldness of what roams below. Atleast when I hear their presence, I know where they are. It’s always the quietness that stops me from sleeping.

At most nights, I can only hear the heavy thuds of a creature’s stride but this came to an abrupt end as a loud shudder tamed the house into an eerie, dead silence. My eyes were open, blood pounding through my veins. What could this mean? Had they found their unnearthly escape and finally broke free from the ancient realms of this house or were they merely gate keepers for a much greater evil.

Suddenly, a rare moonlight could be seen shimmering through the trees outside. The walls were covered with dancing shadows reaching from the bedroom window. I turned on the bedside lamp but there was no light to bring an end to the shadows. It would seem that darkness had ensured its dominance and shrouded the house into a black mass. I could only see what the darkness allowed my eyes to witness and I was now at the slavery of its ambient rule.

I dared not to question this authority however, only to ask for a safe passage. My intentions were all but clear as I stumbled to my feet and approached the bedroom door. I gradually turned the handle until a slight, unexpected breeze pushed the door towards me. The coldness I was now feeling was far too familiar and could only mean one thing. Something still haunts this house…and it is of an evil nature.

Although this fear was certain, it did not stop me from proceeding to the narrow hallway where the stairs were now just at my feet. Suddenly, the bedroom seemed far behind me and all I could think about was walking those stairs. My curiousity had grown strong but my need to conquer this fear had grown stronger and I was now about to take the first crucial steps…

To be continued…

I know I didn’t add all that much text. I was more busy going over what I wrote yesterday. I can’t remember the last time I actually wrote something. I guess I’ve gotten pretty rusty since :-?

Anyway, I hope you like the improvements.

Thanks

Jon

Another failure brought to you by: SoloCreator :frowning: