You know, maybe you need to sit down for a while and figure out what would be needed to make the characters and such into something you like. I’ve been in that boat before and often I’ve found that there is a reason for that feeling and if I can sort it out that often it will solve many problems we did not know we had.
there was a story I once read, dont know if it is fictional or real , it goes a bit like this
A student goes to his teacher to ask for advice on what he should pursue as a profession. As expected the teacher asks him what his interests are, what he is passionate about. He replies that he has no major , interest and no passion about anything. The teacher then tells him he has a mission for him, he shows him a bowl with a gold fish and tells the student to write a page about it.
So he does, describing basic stuff about a boring bowl with boring fish inside
The teacher returns, congratulates him and he tells him now he has to write another 2 pages about the fish. The student looks at him with a blank stare. But he assumes he could pretty much replicate two fold what he already wrote.
Then the teacher returns and he congratulates him once more and he tells him now to write 12 pages about the fish. Student is furious , he wants to burst out of the office but he dug this hole he might as well fall in it. He stares at the fish with a blank mind, all he sees is stupid fish in stupid bowl reflecting his stupid face, after 10 minutes of staring he sees little imperfections on the skin of fish. Colors he has not noticed before, that change with its movement. Then he notices a pattern in the movement depending how close he is.
The teacher returns and finds him writing furiously about the fish, without the student realizing it he has written double the amount he was asked. The teacher then tells him that interest is the product of search, it requires patience and effort and that passion and inspiration does not fall from the trees. That if he wants to really find his passion he can find it in many things , all it takes is determination to search beyond the obvious and venture to the unknown.
I personally have found this story to be true, in many cases I have found myself bored by a subject , if I cannot avoid then I go full throttle and try to search for a deeper meaning in it, to find a side that I was not aware it was there, to find something surprising that will ignite my interest. It takes effort but it certainly makes the boring , exciting , eventually.
In life there is always something exciting to learn even from the most boring things. All it takes is a deep dive, patience and the courage to abandon the misplaced faith of understanding.
Nice story, very true.
I’ll also throw in that this is a very individual thing. Some people are blessed with the patience to steadily progress through life’s hard and unpleasant parts, while others suffer from malignant procrastination, self-defeating attitudes, etc.
Give thanks if you’re blessed to be one of the former, but if you’re of the latter type then you need to recognize that this condition is a handicap and it means you will have to fight harder than other people to achieve your goals. It’s not quite as bad as having terminal cancer, but it can spell your doom just as certainly.
It can be overcome and potentially even cured, though that may seem to be an impossible task, just as an addict may for a long time feel that they have no control over their addiction, yet in the end they may find a way to free themselves and achieve real happiness (and productivity).
Lol you could not have picked the worst person, I am diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder which has almost ruined my life in so many different ways.
Fortunately I have managed to fight it with professional help, although my case is a bit complicated as I assume is for most people suffering from this.
I was definitely not patient and it is not about being patient, its about knowing how to entertain myself. I am basically learning how to not let myself get bored because if I do, its game over. Fortunately it takes practice like anything else.
Indeed is not like having cancer by a long margin but it can definitely bring the life to a halt. If things get that seriously then seeking professional help is mandatory. There are drugs that can help but in my case they did nothing to help me but fortunately psychotherapy did help slowly and steadily. Highly recommend , if you have issues, seek a pro, don’t lose time punishing yourself.
I have been here myself , was working on a project where I had no creative freedom, extricited myself from the project as soon as I realised… Now I don’t know your financial situation Zale, but if it’s financially viable get out of the project you will be happier even if you have to take a financial hit better to work for less money and be happy than more money and hate the project…
Regarding motivation…I find babe station helps
all the best Zale with whatever you decide to do in the future.