I need social...

General Forums Off-topic Chat
#1

Hi I’m almost 22 and live in Canada, I don’t know if it’s the right place but I really need social in my life so badly, I love arts and everything but for the past couple months I have a hard time to motivate myself… I don’t really want to sound like a child or anything but it is really important to me because I feel stuck. Outside the net I have like 2 non artist friends but I never see them and my life is depressing and boring. So I was thinking “Hey, Instead of waiting it won’t hurt to ask a forum like Blendeartist to get some social and have people I can share and talk stuff that I love to do” I know in order to get friends you have to earn it, but truly I don’t know what to do with my life, I’m just completely lost, and sometimes I wonder if beings a artist is truly what I want to be in the future. If you guys know what I’m talking about then at least I’m not alone. So yeah… maybe it was pointless to write this but I had to take a shot. Thanks for reading.

Luke

#2

Well… learn to enjoy the lesser things of life… details.
… just… :eyebrowlift2: … stop stearing through the window - involve yourself.

#3

I don’t even have a cell phone, but thanks.

#4

Just go out and do something; you never know who you’ll meet. Join some clubs or leagues like bowling or volleyball leagues. You’re in Canada so perhaps a curling league:p. A lot of the people I socialize with I met through volleyball leagues. If you’re into building things, there are places called Makerspaces where people get together to make stuff and socialize. Check the internet to see if there’s a makerspace in your city.

Steve S

#5

I’m stuck in a countryside with my parents since my birth, and I have no car, no job, or school, just nothing… and I can’t travel and I just can’t deal with this anymore, I need to do something about it, having friends will help my mood a lot. I tried to search for those clubs things and nope nothing in here, the only place is like 30 mins away from where I live, in car. Thanks for the response though, at least you guys try to help me. :slight_smile:

#6

You can start by getting to know your immediate neighbors (because there should at least be a few people living nearby, right?)

At the least it should provide a little interaction socially, that is unless you literally live in the middle of nowhere.

#7

… and even there you’re never alone :ba:… with all those asset around you waiting to be digitized. Patience to be a master…

#8

Nevermind guys… I knew it was pointless.

#9

Yes, one predicts self on own path. But first, self must exist.
Might be time for Kierkegaard.

#10

Welcome to the community of the web.

Here at BA we can support and offer advice on art.
But we can’t fill the roll you’re wanting. We cannot offer friendship. It is very rare to find a community on the web that can.
I’ve only found one community that offers Friendship. It’s a small community, with members in Russia, USA, Europe, Miscellaneous Islands in the Pacific and many other places. It has people from 16-60. There are maybe 30 people total.
It’s a group based around a computer game called Descent (1995), but it has moved on to include being a full community.

You probably have never heard about the game Descent, but there are a miriad of other communities out there. The trick is finding:
a) An old community
b) Formed around something you’re interested in
c) Developed beyond the original interest
d) Finally: Small. If a community is large, then you never actually know people.

In a community like that you will find people who you can be friends with, even though you’ve never met them.

But the internet can never take the place of real live friendships, where you can get together with a friend and doodle on some scrap paper, or make something out in the garage.
I’d suggest finding some real friends as well.

#11

My only contribution is this:
I live with a very severe anxiety disorder that primarily manifests in a social aspect. So speaking to people beyond the internet and my immediate family is pretty much a no go. I mean, it’s pretty surprising that I can function at all… But I’m trying to make a point, not talk about my own issue. That point is, I know what it’s like to not have anyone to speak to or confide in, but it’s honestly not as bad as you seem to think it is. All the time people spend each day babbling has been put into thinking. In high school it was literally so severe that I didn’t speak to anyone at all, but instead of wasting time speaking of meaningless sensitivities, I thought, and I gained an appreciation for art, in all its forms, far beyond the appreciation any of my peers had gained.
What I’m trying to say is, art is your greatest friend. Art is there for you when you need it. The secrets to life lies within art. And dogs. The secret to life is art and dogs.

#12

people that really are good for your growth are few, and far between.

it is better to be alone and alone.

then surrounded by fools and sponges and alone.

1 true friend is worth a billion acquaintances.

#13

Thanks SilentRainstar, I never heard about art could be your best friend, or secrets to life lie within art ect. I can say I’m new to this so that’s the reason why, I only knew about dogs. And it sucks for your anxiety disorder… I have it too but not that severe, and I also know what it’s like. I will try my best that every time I will feel bored or lonely I will make some art and see if I feel better :slight_smile: once again, Thank you!

#14

You are right about 1 true friend, I have one, it’s the best thing in the world for me.

#15

Thanks sdfgeoff I didn’t know about BA for friendship, really sorry. And yes I know Descent, it is a very good game and a classic! And I completely agree about real friends outside the net, I would love to find but I’m like stuck here, but it won’t stay that way! Thank you for the advice.

#16

If you decide to be a loner with few people in your social circle, you will never have a chance of perhaps making a positive impact in other people’s lives. To generalize most of the human race as fools and sponges is perhaps just your autistic side talking (as we know that people in that group tend to be less apt for a social lifestyle and usually like to go it alone).

To CGwiredvision; Chances are, a number of people you meet are not going to be thinking of how to corrupt you as their first priority, but you will need some discussion skills should someone disagree with your interests or views. In the case of differences in interest at least, just learn to make the best of it and see how it actually produce a long term benefit.

#17

I am saying, don’t latch onto a social situation just because it is social,

not all people that hang out with you are good for you,

that said, I have hundreds of friends where I am from,

but I would say like 6 of them are for closer to me, then the rest.

#18

@SilentRainstar & cgwiredvision: I wouldn’t call social anxiety a disorder myself. I know that it’s widely considered a disorder, but the term disorder makes it sound as though there’s something wrong with you. Really there’s nothing wrong with you, I think in many cases social anxiety is more a conscious realization about the people that surround you. A realization that they’re not so very nice and friendly.

This is why people with social anxiety tend to be pet people. Pets tend to be less cruel than people, at least towards their pack members. People will turn on you the second your usefulness to them wavers or the second it becomes socially beneficial for them to turn against you.

In truth, they were against you the whole time, but in a different way, subtly wielding power through various means.

Social anxiety isn’t a disorder, it’s the realization that they’re not your friends.

#19

@atr1337 Wow man, those are actually pretty good words. In all honesty I rarely discuss it and hadn’t thought of it that way, but I definitely see your meaning. I always viewed it as weakness, because it’s my one anxiety I could never conquer. My mother has anxiety attacks and her father before her had attacks as well, but neither of them (to my knowledge) had a particularly harsh social aspect to deal with. Although, I’ve never been afraid of people, but I always draw a blank when prompted to speak. Interesting thoughts.
Anyhow, I understand loneliness @cgwiredvision, and I really wish you the best. If you ever require anything, I’ll be around.

#20

@SilentRainstar: Recent studies suggest that Americans #1 fear is public speaking. This suggests that people are more afraid of each other than they are of anything else, including death. They’re often afraid of judgment and what others think of them. The fear is that you’ll inevitably say the ‘wrong’ thing and really it’s a justified fear because people will often take the tiniest little thing and blow it way out of proportion in an effort to judge someone, usually because they, themselves, are afraid of the very same judgment so they put down others as a means to make themselves appear better.

They’re afraid of being worthless which in America a persons value is often determined by their net worth or monetary value. This leads people to see others not in terms of human, but in terms of their perceived worth. Objectification, others are nothing more than mere objects that exist only to serve them.

Edit: It has a lot to do with competition, whether you’re competing for the same limited number of modeling opportunities or competing for the same limited amount of market share your whole life is a battle and everyone else is your enemy.

I remember when I used to be a security guard, Loss Prevention was my official title, there were these two girls who were the best of friends both inside and outside of work. That is until they were both up for the same promotion and I watched their friendship crumble to pieces as the two became bitter enemies and from that point on hated each other with a passion.

I remember when they both signed up for the promotion, one of the other guys there, when he heard about it, started humming the Rocky theme song implying that it was going to be an epic battle. I laughed, but really he wasn’t wrong, maybe not epic, but the two were certainly at each others throats. Inevitably one received the promotion leaving the other feeling inferior and looking for a way to prove her value to society, prove herself as or more valuable than the other now higher ranked girl.

Funny thing is, the girl that received the promotion eventually quit because the job was terrible. Of course it wasn’t about the job, it was about the implication behind it. Just getting the promotion meant, to them, that one was ‘better’ than the other or more valuable than the other.