I'm going through a very difficult time in my life

That’s the reason i am not as active currently since i am dealing with serious life issues and i think i am getting into a solid depression.

My game development is starting to take a heavy toll on me after 5 years + the bills mounting and still have at least a year before i can finally start selling it.

This game is my dream, it’s the game I’ll always want to play and i put all my effort and painstaking hours of work without taking any vacation since i simply cannot afford it.

If i am ever to succeed with it i swear i will start a website specialize with resources to help indie developer with advise and experience taking from my own development since i am going to be the perfect person to understand how hard it is to develop a serious game alone.

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Is there anything we can do to make the situation easier for you?

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You already did by caring, thank!

I know it’s not really the place to do this and i hate to expose myself like that publicly but sometime we have no other place to go and i like the people here and this forum a lot.

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Oh man, I’m so sorry to hear that. Please talk to your friends about it and get professional help right away, don’t try to solve this on your own. Let me know if there’s anything we can do to help.

I also watched the following video this week and was inspired by it. I’m not saying this necessarily applies you, but maybe you’ll find it useful and we can be part of your ‘tribe’:

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Sorry too hear about your ill health and I agree that spreading the load really helps in these situations. Take it from me you’re not alone, even just the simple act of talking to someone actually seems to help, well at least when I was going through a similar circumstance so hang in there bud, sending out good vibes and best wishes :sunny:

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Some folks here is missing his cry for help.

polynut, you are not alone ------------------------- In fact, many of us are in the same situation. If not mistaken, you are in similar circumstance as I am. But, I’ve been working at this for a much longer time :slight_smile: Let’s just say 20 years… most people give up at 5 years. :slight_smile:

You want to create a good quality, fun game ---------------------- and you want to share / help others do the same.

Same with me ------------------------ But in addition, I’m not doing it only for myself. Rather, I am working hard to fulfill a long goal of mine ---------------------- And it is to help the most needed people & create a sustainable environment. In case you are wondering, unlike majority of the “sheeple” TM, even though the “Global Warming” TM, has morphed into “Climate Change” lies & propaganda --------------------- What is REAL is limited fuel / resources / land / etc & pollution. That is why, the KABALA avoids focusing on the real problems (since they dis-proportionally are most guilty).

Anyways, there is no easy way, polynut. You probably already know this. There are very few people who put in the effort need to accomplish what you want to accomplish -------------------- Ton Roosandaal is exceptional. I am working hard to also be exceptional too.

And that is the only way. polynut, in this world we need money to pay for resources. I understand that all too real. Imagine someone working hard for 20+ years… LOL. :slight_smile:

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Thank Bart your reply mean a lot to me since i am just trying to find a ray of hope behind those thick clouds.

The past 10 years have been so rough on me that i wonder how i am still developing a game since it is not the first but the fourth game project i am making and early projects were involving other team members.

Can you imagine spending 10 years and 3 of those game project went down the drain due to team dislocation because of money issues. All these hours invest for nothing and all these assets sleeping on your hard drive haunting you.

I am on the fourth project since the past 5 years alone and barely have the moral and the will currently to continue even if i am very close to get something very good from it.

I could have found a job either as a freelancer, teacher or in a studio but i wanted to make this project to get me out of a heavy student debt loan since i would have no life for years repaying this amount.

That’s why i chose to gamble my life on a good game project since i had the skills to do it and this way the possibility to finally be free from debt was possible.

Don’t get me wrong here i was not only doing this game for money, it was a game project that i had in mind for years and my dream was to make it come true, it’s the game i always have wanted to play.

The worst part and that’s where i am truly having a hard time copping with is that i have put people i dearly love in trouble to finish this project and they help me even if they were not rich. In a word they have support me without any warranty of success and i am under the pressure i impose to myself to deliver the game so i can pay them back and also reward them for their generosity and trust.

Sorry for the wall of text but i had to say this.

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Thank Sakboi, and yes it is helping since you feel so much isolated alone on such an ambitious project.

I am close to have gameplay videos but i still have a lot of work but my moral is going down the drain.

I am generally very private about my personal life but i have no one i can talk to.

Hi thienchau and thank for the kind words and i know very well the meaning of the word ‘’ perseverance’’ but on the long run it can become a solid psychological burden specially when you are all alone on the project in precarious conditions.

I already went the team way and it was very hard to convince others to work as hard as i did and to maintain moral for the long run with tiny resources.

Sometime when i read thread on game developing forum encouraging young people to go for it at any cost i found this very irresponsible since they never explain to them what kind of workload they are going to get in and most of the time these young people don’t even have any 3D or 2D experience at all.

In my opinion this is madness and you can send someone in the path i am currently in.

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Doing your line of work is also physically challenging. For most of us, our bodies start to build up a lot of physical anxiety from sitting on a chair and being in the same position, looking at the screen. Sometimes it’s fun but sometimes the body just needs a break. Treat your body kindly. You can’t always choose how you’re going to feel. In terms of energy levels and stress, it’s sometimes better to accept it, and if your stamina bar is running low, go replenish it somehow (even though that’s ironically the moment you seem to lose initiative to do anything else, and you get even more obsessed with powering through your work). Go for a long term perspective. You’ll get there someday and the whole point is to enjoy the path you’re on.

For me I try to keep a checklist of things I need to do to take care of my body. It’s a simple and pragmatic way of looking at things and the checklist can include stuff like

exercise
diet
sleep
social fulfillment
laughing (even watching a good tv show once in a while, it’s all about balance)
creativity

If I haven’t done all of the things in the checklist, then there’s no point getting frustrated really or getting too hard on myself. If I feel depressed I just think back to all the things in my list and most likely there’s something I haven’t been taking care of. It requires lot of discipline to keep everything checked in the list. If you want to make the best game you can, you have to take care of the vessel that is going to help you do that.

However, I personally think this applies for 99% of people who go through every day ups and downs. With clinical depression, there are going to be real professionals that have a much better way of figuring these things out, and it will take more work to dig yourself out of that deep negative state of mind.

I wish all the best to you polynut!

Also that trendy thing that’s called meditation …

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I have to agree here since i started training last year in March, i do 45 min of training + another 45 min of walk every day except on Saturday since this is my day off from training not from working of course.

I work 7 days a week without even stopping for long periods to get the work done. Sometime i will watch a movie on Saturday night to relax a bit or i play a game.

My diet is well not always very balance because i hate to spend too much time cooking and also because i cannot afford anything better since the money went for an addon or software i bought or to buy new hardware. I still consider i eat decently enough since i would not be able to train if it was not sufficient.

Regarding sleep i always have 7 to 8 hr of good sleep each day but it can happen that i am close to finish a rig or something else and i go in the we hours of the night sleeping only 4 to 5 hr.

Thank for taking the time to write this since i truly appreciate it.

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polynut,

Thank you for your response. I am a regular reader of BA… and I follow the developments in our industry (both Animation & Games).

I’m also living “borrowing from the kindness of a 2 others” (ie my aging parents).

I also understand the need to be self-sufficient, not only for myself, but my family.

My situation is also precarious. And I also tested the “TEAMWORK” way, as you have, and I too have discovered the “truth”. And that truth is, most people are NOT dedicated when it comes to Hard Work, but they are very greedy when it comes to Un-earned Benefits. -------------- SO, I too am doing this solo.

But I am a person who VALUES TRUE FRIENDSHIP. ------------------ That means friends who are decent, hard-working, loyal… AND do not commit shameful acts (you can figure those for yourself).

=======================================================================

Of course, like any relationship (Friendship, Family, Spouse, etc) --------------- It only has meaning if both parties are similar sincerity.

What I am saying is. I do not need “FAKE friends”, but “REAL friends” I value -------------------- And it is real friends, whom I am willing and eager to help out.

If we become good friends, in the future, I can help you out. -------------------------------- However, as you can imagine (since you too are embarking on solo dev), I am quite busy. :slight_smile:

Ignore the following advice (if you already know & are doing so) ===>

Here is what I am using for Game Engines, after extensive experience. This is very valuable info, as choosing the proper Game Engine, can dramatically lesson your workload.

I am making several games, using 3 game engines: (1) BGE, (2) Armory, (3) Godot.

A lot of people are discouraged with BGE mainly because it forces your Game to be GPL licensed ----------------------- However, this is only true IF you embed your game with the Binary. ------------------------- If instead you LOAD the *.blend file, it is NOT gpl.

Then the issue people have is, your ASSETS are “exposed” to modification & theft. However, think of it this way -------------------- For hobbyists & fans of your game, is it really “bad” they customize the game characters??? Secondly, if someone or organization STEALS your assets … well then, you can LEGALLY SUE THEM.

But if for some reason, you want to keep your game Assets private -------- consider either or both Armory & Godot. Godot if you want to easily export to Mobile.

==========================================================================

Avoid Unity.

Let’s say there are about 20 times as many Unity developers as Unreal --------------------- Yes, there is an order of magnitude MORE high-quality games made with Unreal than Unity.

Ask yourself why???

I often visit both Unity & Unreal forums. I also regularly, check up on what other people develop.

SOLO devs like ourselves, we need to be able to quickly & successfully create a game in shortest time possible (for many valid reasons, as you already mentioned). Only BGE, Armory, Godot can allow you to do so. :slight_smile:

Furthermore, before I log off.

Regarding game world & chars. Plan out what you want to do carefully before embarking. Make sure you have the character’s BACKGROUND & GAME STORY.

This will dictate GAMEPLAY.

For example, in my game (and I do not mind if others “steal” my ideas, LOL) ------------ Each game has a different MAIN THEME. But my games are also what you call “MULTI GENRE”.

Let me explain more clearly. Most games you see are made with too narrow. For example, perhaps it is because I am older, but even as a kid ---------------- I thought to myself, why are MOST GAMES VIOLENT???

Super Mario is basically about KILLING gumbas, etc.
FPS is basically shooting to kill others.

Furthermore, you got survival games that are just that, survive… it gets boring quick.
So I decided to make Games that are not only FUN, but also intellectually stimulating & helpful.

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I’m not going to give you ‘helpful’ advice because a tough situation is usually beyond a tip or two, but I wish you all the best with your goal of getting out of debt. Sometimes all a man can do is persevere.

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I am certain you are the kind of person i would be honor to call a friend, and this is so true that going on the path of solo game development mean no time for friendship and you dedicate yourself a 150% to something you know that can end up in a failure.

It’s unimaginable the amount of struggle so many indie devs are going through since you can read so many similar stories on game development forum.

When you first want to make a game you have to be sure you are doing it because it’s a true passion and not only to grab a dollar and i think this is an aspect often not taken in account.

I thought many time of recruiting other like minded people to speed up the development but also for that dynamism you can get from a good balance team, you know the feeling when you start showing your character combat move and the team are around you and slap you gently on the shoulder saying this is fantastic work mate! Alone you don’t have any kind of encouragement.

When you are close like i am to start showing gameplay it’s helping a lot not to abandon but you still know that the amount of work is substantial and you often have that dread fear to not be able to make it before going bankrupt and this is not a funny place to be and i deeply sympathize with all other fellow developers, artists, programmers etc in the same situation.

One more important matter that I want to share with you.

As a fellow game dev, an extremely important challenge is ====> How can be get compensated for our hard work???

As you know, illegal copying & distribution of digital goods is EXTREMELY difficult to prevent.

This is my solution.

The first few games will be based on “TRUST”. Hopefully there are enough people who will actually pay.

For the following games, I thought up 2 methods. Personally I DISLIKE “adverts” & “credit card payments”. So how do we get paid???

(1) Custom compiled game binary that checks for WIFI card’s mac address.

(2) “ARCADE” style game, where you get a few limited time-frame where you can play for free. But if you want to play more, you pay. :slight_smile:

I know too well the importance of character development and story and on this side i think i nailed it perfectly if i trust the opinion of my entourage and from some ex colleagues.

When they heard of the concept they all told me to go for it since they never heard anything like it and that it was going to be a blast to play.

It’s a shooter and i am using UE4 but it’s not your typical shooter since there is an interesting story behind it and pretty original gameplay that i never saw in any game to these days and i play a lot of them since i was alive when the first video game was release Pong.

My environment is design specially to make that concept work the way i intend it.

I also think there is not enough original and fun game that don’t rely on violence but i am also OK with killing monsters and creatures as long as there is a purpose for doing so and that the player get reward in various ways.

On this particular aspect of the project i have a pretty decent concept to get the project funded.

Let me explain; The main game is a single player shooter with original gameplay concept and the player has to solved puzzle and defend himself in a very though and dangerous environment. It is compose of 12 chapters.There is similarities with many game like almost any other game done to nowadays.

I have element of the original tomb raider game where the player was going through various ruins and temple environment and had to fight against various creatures and solve puzzle to get to the next level but i also have Dark soul difficulty level and Epic boss battle, the ending alone will make it worth playing it i believe.

I was really scratching my head hard on how can i get the funding to develop the main single player without using the usual stream like kickstarter etc since they ask for money but they offer only promises instead of real content or concept ships if you know what i mean here.

So i had the idea to go the other way around and to sell a multiplayer game that will provide the player with many hours of fun and at the same time funding the main game.

Of course the multiplayer game is not a full fledge WOW it’s mainly a multiplayer with 4 game modes where the player can fight in duel against another person or play with a few of his friend an survive a horde mode and i also have a mini battle royale game mode + an original variation of the capture the flag mode.

Each package come with custom design weapons and so far i plan on having 3 packages one at 5$, 10$ and finally the 20$ one that will include all future location update for free since other locations from the single player will be add to the multiplayer game later on.

This way i can get the fund by selling a real entertaining content and i don’t feel like i rob anyone from their money based on promises of an eventual finish product, that was very important to me.

I forgot to mention that the multiplayer game will be open to modding and that i will offer 50% cut to modders who add content for my game. I was so disappointed by bethesda creation club that i told myself that i was going to be generous with people working to make my game better with amazing mods.

The feeling one gets from all this is you are suffering from overstretching goals.
Normal cure for this is divide, pack, and sell.
Let go of your feeling of mistrust, do what you have to do. Especially if you’re serious about what you’re doing.
If you deliver, you’ll be good; if you don’t, at least you tried.