King of Feather's

haha, its a cheesy title, for a cheesy project…:slight_smile: here is what first started out as an idea to be a quick, fast paced non-existent movie trailer. the project was very much influenced by the “creature Factory” dvd by Andy Goralczyk…and the blender institute

this whole project is me getting back into 3d animation after a couple of years of doing nothing, this project took me around eight months, and took up all of my time between work…this is not meant to be a serious project, i just jumped into the world of blender in November 2008 and this is what came out…

There are Many, and i mean many oversights on my part to get to this point with this project,…alot of issues, polygons crashing through other objects, and inconsistencies betweens scenes like the texturing and compositing…and the lifeless animation…( i mean the robot birds dont really have to move like robots…:slight_smile: )

any who :o , here we go …

now let me have it, I want this thing picked down to nothing,

dont be afraid to let me know what you really think :yes:

here are a few stills from the project,

hey all,

this little short, cant be that bad, is it? its still worth the time for a little comment, like a ;

that sucked!!, …0r… I could do way better!!!

i cant believe no one has an opinion…

Hey, couldn’t figure the end part to well, where they trying to mate? Yet must say is refreshing to see, or maybe not see all the effort that would go into the anima.

haha, yeah i know in those last couple shots it looks like there getting ready to do the nasty …but the idea was to cut right before they battle it out or something like that

Way cool. Yes I agree they could be about to bump uglies at the end but luckily you stopped rendering at just the right time.
I couldn’t figure out the hanging in the air thing with the second bird but other than that looks great.
I just hope my efforts will be equal to yours.

Edit: How long did it take to complete?

hey well thanks.

I’ll add story telling and camera work to the ever growing list of things I have to improve on…

I just started modeling a bird head back in november 2008, and 7 1/2 months later this thing came out… (had to still go to work, paying the bills is kinda important too)

That wasn’t as bad as you made it sound :smiley:

DoF was nice, and the models were slick. But, your animation needs work. That’s a really big thing to say, because good animation can take a couple years to learn. But still, why not?

some of the animation issues where do to the lousy rigs built had some problems with the wings and rotation. it was kinda challanging for me, i made a lot of mistakes in every aspect of this project, but it was a great learning experience. :slight_smile:

You obviously put a lot of work into that. And you asked for it to be picked apart so I’ll give you as in depth of a review as I can.

Of course all of this is just my opinion, but it takes too long to qualify each statement with: “It might just be me, but…”. So keep in mind that I’m going to sound like more of a prick than I am ;-).

Shot 1)
The pattern of cracks in the ground is very good. The color seemed too yellow. Couldn’t tell what the bumpy tube was supposed to be. Too drastic of a camera move at the end (0:11). Very nice defocus to overlay the title.

Shot 2 (0:26)
The fade was too quick (since you’re going from a moving camera to a still camera–it would be okay if the camera was also moving the same way in shot 2). Also the previous shot was just coming into focus before the fade out… made the transition rough.
Really cool model and texture on the bird.

Shot 3 (0:36) Another jarring transition. Couldn’t tell if I was looking at the same bird.
The environment looks pretty cool.
Most of the motion is good, but it is unclear what he is attempting to do by throwing the junk into the sky. I assume the piece that then fell is the one he threw, but he didn’t seem to expect it.

Shot 4 (0:46) Another jarring transition, but this one is because in the previous shot the bird just started an action. I would expect any cut to give a better shot of that new action.
The bird looks pretty cool, but I don’t know why this one has feathers and the other one doesn’t. His movements are stiff, but that’s okay since it is a mechanical bird.
At the beginning of the shot it looks like he is jarred awake by something, but there was nothing to cause that.
The camera moves strangely, with the sporadic zooms it seems like it was supposed to look hand-held, but it doesn’t (it’s very difficult to make a CG camera look hand-held).

Shot 5 (0:59)
Kind of seems like this bird is reacting to the call of the previous bird, but his move is slightly delayed. Other than that, good.

Shot 6 (1:03)
This is a cool looking wide shot.
Since the bird in shot 5 just turned his head, I assume this shot is from his point of view.

Shot 7 (1:05)
This shot is pretty cool, but the camera needs to be smoothed out and the shot should last much longer.

Shot 8 (1:07)
This shot looks awesome, but the bird had already lifted up his head to look in shot 5. You could get a similar feel (of the close up bird appearing in frame) by having the camera move down (so the bird is out of frame at the beginning of the shot and framed how you have him by the end of the shot).

Shot 9 (1:12)
This shot is confusing. The action has started already so it would probably be better to have a cut rather than a fade.
It looks like the bird is slowly hovering while descending. But after watching it again, you probably meant for him to be diving. If so, he should be moving faster and shown from a better camera angle (over his shoulder or from the point of view of the bird on the ground)

Shot 10 (1:20)
This shot should be combined with shot 12 or cut.

Shot 11 (1:25)
This shot looks great!

Shot 12 (1:28)
I really like the new element of smoke coming out of the bird. Cool looking animation all around (good wing flapping).
I don’t understand why it changed to black and white.
They should still be moving as it fades to black.

Overall, there is a lot of good stuff here. I hope my comments have been helpful.

hey thats great, thanks for your crit!, exactly what i needed, I needed to know whats wrong with that so i can make the next one better…

gotta work on animation, and my story telling skills …:slight_smile:

I liked the models and the texturing was well done.

The defocus with the title was nice.

I would make the tube at the beginning more recognisable (I assume it’s a pipe for oil?)

I felt a lack of Foley and sound effects for the birds’ interactions with the environment, especially with the bird picking at the metal debris in the beginning.

The trucking out shot of the eye spinning open before the bird takes off is well done.

It took me a second time watching it to realise that the bird is diving (1:12) instead of just floating. Some kind of flapping of the feathers, motion blur and perhaps not such a perfectly tracked camera move would have added to the diving effect.

At 1:27, the bird on the ground is a still frame image, some movement would improve the shot.

I liked the very last shot. The smoke effects from the bird on the bottom are good. The timing of that piece of the animation was better than the timing in the rest of the shots.

Nice work =)

thanks Asano,

the tube at the begining is an oil pipeLine (…or supposed to be…:),

I relize the many problems with the animation and timing…its kinda disapointing for me to look at this project now and seeing the end product…looking back at how long i spent at models, texturing and lighting…and how little time i spent on the rigging and animation…also more planing at the start would have improved the timing and the shot flow

but with that said, time to but this project to rest and move on to some thing else and make it better then the last…

I like the changes you have made from when you first posted it.