Love & Fate

General Forums Off-topic Chat
1

Hi everyone,

I’m up quite late tonight with a lot on my mind. It’s usually Blender but tonight’s got me asking something else; A lot of things to do with love.

I think it’s true that the person you love is the one that can hurt you most. But to feel truly in love, you need to know that it’s of their own free will to love you and that their love is genuine and that it will stay that way. It would appear that as long as true love must be of one’s free will, true love’s will must always have the freedom to change.

I’ve been asking myself this question: If true love is so genuine and exists among us, why is it given the uncertainty of a binary choice to be true or false. Why must love be such a variable subject to change, instead of being a constant that will never change and can always be relied upon.

Perhaps the definition of true love is different for everyone, which would mean that true love is no where but in our very own hearts and minds.

Jon

2

Wow, that’s really deep.
Excuse me…
http://smilies.networkessence.net/s/ups/layla_phoenix/puke.gif

3

jki agree. :o
(with valarking( :stuck_out_tongue: jk))

4

well i have thought about this and there are different definitions of love

i love chocolate, nipples, sex… (indicates lust/desire)
i love to be around you (indicates friendship)
i would love to spend the rest of my life with you (indicates a deeper thing)
i unconditionally love you. (the true sense of love IMO)

the thing is that nowerdays these definitions are being blurred /confused.

many relationships fail because people are confusing LUST with LOVE. so a relationship that is founded on sex and not a deeper emotional conection, is infact not love but LUST and is bound to be temporary.

loving to spend time with someone without sex is a deeper connection again, this is the kind of love you may have with a friend and perhaps a partner.

Love in terms of living the rest of your life with someone (as in truly feeling that way rather than just saying the words without understanding them) is the foundation for a long marrige.

and the final which is unconditional love it often experienced between parents and children, husband and wife (after a longer time) brothers and sisters etc…

the real issue these days is that if both partners do not share the same kind of love for each other the relationship is doomed to fail.

such as one partner thinking “i want to spend time with you” and the other partner thinking “i want to spend the rest of my life with you”

there is a mismatch of intentions and it will fail (no question about it, they might not break up but they won’t be truly happy or one party won’t be truly happy)

the person you love the most can hurt you the most for one reason, they are the person you care about most. therefore they have the greatest emotional effect on you.

its also true because if the person you love the most doesn’t feel the same way and things break up then you are naturally devistated.

it does genuinly exist, but honestly you need to wait for the person who feels the same way about you before it will be obvious that it exists.

you need the harmony in the relationship for it to work :wink:

Alltaken

5

i think u have too much time to think, go to sleep.

6

actually mystrey00 this is from experience with hearing lots of peoples love issues.

i have been a memebr of a relationship forum since 18 (i normally only talk to my mates in the offtopic sections/ debating sections now, but at once stage i read a lot of peoples issues (more issues to think about than is good at that age LOL) and came to these realisations while reading or helping people)

you learn a fair bit about life at relationshi forums i can tell you that much at least. although your maturity level needs to be high to be able to handle it, either that or you need to be open minded and empathetic.

Alltaken

7

Mystery00, I would rather be accused of being too deep, than being assumed too shallow.

Thanks for your feedback Alltaken, I think you have a great perception of the different kinds of love and what true love really means.

Thanks again for all your feedback.

Jon

8

SolidSnake: love is not something you me or some other human can define, it’s way far from our capabilities to do so, we should glad just to have the oportunity to able to love. BTW there’s no different definition of love acording to different people, there’s only one, and since no one is the owner of truthno one can tell you, you can define the aspect or part of love that you get yo live.
and i also prefer to be profound rather shallow

9

Um, yes you “define” it.
It’s at the core simply a reaction to members of the opposite (hopefully) caused by our hormones. It’s us as humans that make it complex and put us above mere animals.

10

But why must love be something so ironic. How can we ever find or recocnise true love when we cannot define it. I think that there are a lot of broken hearts out there who have been hurt by the illusions of true love and wish that they had known better.

It’s not the ability to love that I’m putting to question. it’s the ability to know that someone loves YOU. The ablility to know that someone is around you for the right reasons and will always be there for you.

Not being able to define love is often perceived as a gift, but as long as love cannot be defined, you can never be sure if you are being truly loved by someone.

Jon

11

Valarking, I refuse to believe that love is a big lie forged to put us humans above the animal kingdom.

Besides, there are people who fall in love, spend the rest of their lives together and decide never to have children. I don’t remember animals ever doing this.

That kind of puts your (humans just want to breed) theory to shame doesn’t it really.

Jon

12

Hehe, you mistook my point entirely. Humans have made love into something more than a need to breed.

You better believe that “big lie”, for instance, why do most men find women with wide hips and better curves more attractive? It’s simply a survival instinct that causes you to be attracted to women showing the most signs of fertility.

13

i think there are two debates here

first is LUST and second is LOVE

LUST is purly procreation based and is all about sex/ attraction to someone for the reason of sex or wanting.

LOVE is far deeper and is not abotu procreation necisarily, it is is about LIVING personally and HAPPINESS. love exists when you want to give more than recive.

if i lust someone its because i can gain somthing from them like sex for example, but if i love someone i would do ANYTHING for them.

people often confuse the two. and i’m sorry but yes you can actually clearly define LOVE, and different forms of it. just be around people long enough and you will understand more than you need to

Alltaken

14

Solidsnake:

But why must love be something so ironic. How can we ever find or recocnise true love when we cannot define it.

Because you confuse the noun with the verb.

%<

15

valarking,

And what about the other guys who don’t find that attractive? Is it that these guys are biologically corrupt.

And how do you explain gay partners I wonder? I think when two people of the same sex are together, they are perfectly aware that they can’t have children of their own.

Exactly how do you know that MOST guys find that attractive in women? Where did this statistic come from?. Even if this was true, statistics are always subject to change and from what you’re saying, our basic instincts to breed can never change.

[/quote]

16

It’s a scientific fact. Look it up on goolgle, I really don’t care.
Gay people are genetically or conciouslly different that hetero people. I haven’t really done much research on that, but it might be a hormone balance difference causing them to look for very different things. I really don’t know, everyone is different though, so the rules that hold true for most don’t neccesarily hold true for all.