March 11 Second Club - An animation exercise....

Hi all,

Liked this month’s 11 Second Club audio and decided to block some ideas out. Been toying with it, trying to act it out. Trying to get into the head of the actor and act the part…

I welcome critiques… be brutal…



PS The lighting sucks, will fix with better renders later…

In her over the shoulder shots, the whole left side of the image is bare, and the action is squeezed into the right side of the screen. In his over the shoulder shots, you have the opposite situation. No need to jam them up like that. Move both characters toward the center of the image.

I think the establishing shot would work better as a her over the shoulder, since we want to establish clearly that mr. cell phone is multi-tasking. We need to follow his eyes: toward his cell, toward her, at some papers on the desk, maybe give him a computer monitor off to the side to glance at… Anyway, we don’t need to see her expression in the beginning, but we do need to clearly see his attention flitting around all over the place.

In order to pick up her reaction, cut to his over the shoulder in the middle of the line about ‘majoring in math’. We still don’t know where he’s going with that, and neither does she, so she can have a look of annoyance on her face which changes to delight when he claims ‘1000% attention’.

When she expresses her appreciation, cut back to over her shoulder so we can watch his expression go from his “I am really earnest about giving you my undivided attention” face to his “Ok, she bought it, back to business as usual…” face, and then he asks his cell about indonesia

And cut back to her for a final reaction shot…

Here’s the thing: he’s a manipulative jerk, so the drama is in her reaction to being blatently manipulated.

Good luck with the contest. :smiley:

Cool! Nice ideas from Orinoco. I would have played on just the idea of him being a manipulative jerk, something on the lines of Jonah Jameson (J K Simmons) of the Daily Bugle from Spiderman.


He is to robotic, particularily when he sits up on the chair.

Yea, he is too robotic, I’m just still blocking this in.

And I admit I’ve not been focused on this as much as I should be. This piece won’t be entered, no way for me to finish it in time. But I’m happy with what I have and will work on…

Comparing the camera angles I had and the ones suggested by Orinoco in that video, if I followed you advice correctly…

But watching this video thru, I noticed I had big negative spaces off to the left or right, as pointed out.

Anyway, will comment more when I can,



Were did you get the models from? Arent they Maya?