http://mywebpage.netscape.com/ottoana/WALL2.jpg
Pure blender
C&C are wellcome
hi,
nice candles; a bit more variation i’d like to see.
SirVer
nice work, but add a bit more detail like some small wall-plants ore something like that…a torn poster maybe?
Nice job, but all the bricks look to similar. Other wise, niiiiiice. 
the brickmasons must have been drunk… (or maybe the forgot their levels?)
any ways… very nice render.
Nice use of translucency on the candles.
It’s a good concept, but I think that a very few simple lighting and compositional changes could make it really work much better.
It’s an axiom of photography that “the eye is always attracted to the brightest part of any picture.” In your case, the bright spot is the upper left hand corner. The pull is further reinforced by the fact that it is a corner, and by the fact that it is an artificial light-source which tells me that it’s sunlight. About 10:00 in the morning or 2:00 in the afternoon. Which makes the combined effect into a fairly strong magnet that pulls the eye “up, up, and away” from where you want it to be.
An important compositional rule is the “rule of thirds.” Divide the picture, in your mind, with two vertical and two horizontal lines, dividing the picture into thirds. The strong points are where those lines intersect. If you re-compose the shot you can place those candles in much stronger positions, and also keep the eye from wandering out of the frame. (Right now, the candle in the lower right corner acts as a magnet, although not as powerful as the one in the top-left. It would have drawn my eye away if the sunlight hadn’t.)
The eye likes to follow a path through a picture. What is the path that you want my eye to take?
Now, you title this piece “memory wall.” I am not familiar with places such as the Wailing Wall, in Jerusalem, to which you might be referring. But what I do suggest that you think about is, “using only the language of vision, what mood am I trying to set … what am I trying to say (and how strongly?) … and what can I do with this picture to really, really, say that?” You could … change the composition, change the light, change the focus, insert props … It’s food for thought.
@ner, great job man. I have a couple small issues with light showing at the bottom of some bricks with no apparent source, but it’s not enough to detract from the piece as a whole.
Now for a mini-rant (sorry to stray off-topic a bit, but bear with me). I want to nip this “rule of thirds” crap in the bud. It’s not a compositional rule. It’s a compositional rule of thumb. It’s a starting point, a way to arrange if you don’t have any better ideas. It doesn’t always make compositions better. In fact, it can very easily flatten them out. This particular piece has a lot of energy to it. The strength of the triangular arrangement of the candles hold the eye very nicely. The brightness in the corner (although it could be a touch softer) emphasizes the idea of thought, reflection, and memory. The cool blue near the bottom is an excellent contrast to the yellow and provides a nice somber feel.
All in all, I’m just saying that while things like the rule of thirds are good places to start, but they are in no way the end-all, be-all when it comes to composition. I personally find circles and triangles to be stronger compositional elements that have a greater hold on eye movement. And object placement in the rectangular space often says more when you break those compositional rules (just make sure you’re breaking them on purpose :P). Find your own way.
Don’t listen to them. It’s absolutely perfect. The upper light is a nice touch, the candles add to the mood, and the camera angle makes it a work of art. The only thing that i think should be changed is the brightness, which needs to go downin order to complete the picture.
Interesting, I like it. Great job but I would like to see more variation. Maybe some more detail on the bricks. Maybe some cracks and such. Even a newly built wall has a few cracks in it. Maybe make the light up in the corner a little softer.
Something so peaceful about this one, @ner. I like it very much. The candle materials are excellent.
RobertT
Great job @ner. Very nice and peaceful. Only thing I would change, is make it darker, and make it look like it’s all candle light.
Thanks every body - I consider this thread to be very successaful because you presnted well constracted crits, even though they were long.
I’ve made a new version with a softer light:
http://mywebpage.netscape.com/ottoana/wall3.jpg
Any new C&C