I just got done with the painfully long (on my 56k) process of uploading alot of my Blender pics so i figured i’d share some (in seperate topics)
Here is a model I made a long time ago of my .12 guage Pump Action Shotgun.
I’m going to model and put the gun on my gunrack also, thats why I put this in the WIP forum.
Anyways, i would like some constructive critisism on the pic.
Well, The shells are much too small in size to the weapon, there is no track to the pump, and the cartridge is too small, maybe 4 shells in the weapon at a time and lastly, no shadows? Also, the bump right in front of the butt needs to be smothened. I don’t mean to be harsh, I just have a lot of knowledge of weapons. Now the upsides, Your overall shape is nice, Wood on the stalk is nice too, Trigger and Butt are well modelled also.
You aren’t harsh… what you said will give me something to do… i’ll be back with improvements… thanks for the critique
Here is an update…
Smoothes the Butt (nearest the handle) a litte bit
Resized the Shells
And a few material edits
Got more critique?
If you want it: The Railing is nice, the shells are too skinny, the environment is dull and takes down the work you put into the weapon, I like this wood texture better, The extraction slot is not dark enough, A notch sight on the tip of the barrel; generally that is the sight on shotguns, especially this police style Winchester I would assume. It is really coming together though! Good work!
The environment is just a quick put-together… I’ll try and model a gunrack or something for the next pic.
There is a notch sign on it, it just can’t be seen, maybe i’ll make it a lil bit bigger and maybe bronze colored or something.
The shells have a perfect diameter (i put the shell inside the gun to measure)… maybe i just have them too long and thats why they look skinny…
I meant to put the loading slot on the bottom… I’m not really sure what happened there… And you reminded me about the release slot… I’m blind modelling it is why im forgetting this stuff… I’ll get my 12 guage in here with me next time i mess with it.
Actually it is a winchester… I got it for $100 (very good price) from a guy at my dad’s work. It was brand new when i got it, and it also holds 5 shells. Good deal if you ask me.
No wonder you thought it was a winchester, I was making my brother’s .20 guage shotgun (which is a winchester)… thats what blind modelling will do to you…
I’ll fix up the 12 guage real quick and probably will go ahead and make the .20 guage…
lmao… im a dumbass
Yes, well it makes more sense to be a .20 guage with the size of the barrel, There is slots on both side and bottom though because you need loading and extraction both.
It doesn’t seem to be casting a shadow, but it’s a fine model of a gun.
To me, the checkerboard floor is very distracting, and there’s just too much of it in the picture. Zoom the camera in. Fill the frame.
Its great nice job.
I can’t help but think of ‘Cheney’ s Got a Gun’.
Alright… finally got out of church… got home, made a few songs and now im back to modelling…
I brought my 12 guage in here and now i have a bigger job to do…
In the following pic i have edited:
Cartrige Part (not sure of the actual name of it… the part the trigger is hooked to)
Added a shell extractor (on opposite side)
Fixed shell loader (put on bottom) (it’s silver btw… not white… the lighting makes it appear real bright)
Fixed the pump railing
Added the notch sight (sorta in the wrong place… messed up during the rotating or something)
Took out the checkered flooring… i haven’t got around to modelling the gunrack yet
If it looks skinnier compared to the first couple of pics, it’s because a .12 guage IS smaller (well, thinner i mean) than a .20 guage… not by much tho (its cuz the .12 is longer)
Still, critique is needed
Where the pump railing is, there is the railing, a part that attatches it to the barrel, then the barrel… but it’s all black so you can’t really see all of the detail i put in it… is there a way to show the detail i put in there even though it’s all the same color? More lights maybe? I dunno…
Anyways… here is the pic… ill shutup
Aight… finally got some sleep… This morning i began modelling a new stock because the old one just looked wack…
Here are the results (i also have to remodel the trigger guard… looks better )
not bad, but the wood texture looks a little distorted to me. Part of it gets stretched towards the trigger. I don’t know how you would go about fixing it, but… yeah.
Yeah the wood texture is definitly stretched…how did you apply that, not uv…or did you uv map it? The other thing is lower the specularity on the material for the black and wood, and I would recommend unwrapping this, because it will give you more control and you can add more to it. Alnd I dont think that the metal is that black…and right now it doesnt look to good with the material just black, you need a better texture on there.
Where is the ejection hole? And it looks like your trigger is messed up…but that might be because of the render. There are alot of little things that are on a shotgun, that might seem hard to make but could make this look alot better. Oh yeah the trigger guard seems to be really thin…but not having a real shotgun in front of me I cant tell if its supposed to be like that. Just looks wierd to me.
If you keep working on this it could look real good
The wood is textured, I didn’t UV it… I’ll be looking for some mor high-resolution textures
I need a smooth-ish metallic texture for the blackness… nothing too grainy… i’ll be lookin
The shell extraction shot (“ejection hole” ) is on the other side of the gun… just like the real-life counterpart… ill get a double sided shot up here eventually
The trigger and trigger guage is fine (as long as your looking and the pic of the NEW stock model)
The only thing I haven’t MODELED on the gun is the little screws and stuff… i might add that just for a more realistic look… but its not a big priority
Thanks for the critique… i’ll mess around with it and see what i can do… also, if you can help me out on some wood or metallic (or whatever else i need) textures, that would be awesome