Tele-marketer phone calls…
I hate them! Telephonic spam! They will wake you up far too early and annoy you. Although it is a fun exercise in mental gymnastics. And it also makes you proficient at 'phone tag.
I usually try to keep them on the ‘phone as long as possible. It does take the right frame of mind though. Usually I will talk about the weather or locations of the caller. At times, it can get all very silly. Especially if you can get a bit personal. So far, my record is 45 minutes! I am running out of ideas though.
Any suggestions? (Getting mad does not work very well.)
Yep, but that is no fun at all! Not only that, it is sort of a form of empowerment, then they just keep on calling people and don’t even think about it. Can you just imagine banks of telephone operators doing this stuff all day long? What a job eh? There really has to be a more creative way of having fun. I think that I will try engaging them in conversation about their hobbies or jobs. Maybe I will try making them press all kinds of numbers on their phones to talk with me. Sort of like an endless loop of button pushing. Oh yeah! then in between button pushes I could entertain them with totally bland and horrible elevator music. I will have have to select my tunes to be totally annoying though. Now I have to speak with my telephone folks and find out how to accomplish this (with not alerting them as to what I may be up to). I have thought about very loud whistles, one of which I own, in fact, the loudest whistle in the world, and seeing how it is not very easy to over-modulate a standard telephone, that might also prove interesting. Yeah, visions of headsets blowing off of ears while smoking in destruction is kind of a funny thought!
I don’t know, I will probably figure something out. I am not really a mean person, yet some things just really get to me. There has to be a way! Besides, I have to beat my own record!
I really don’t see the point in messing with telephone marketers, it’s just a job, pretty much like any other. How would you like it if someone tried their best to annoy you at your workplace?
I would take it as more of a challenge. Besides that, how would you like it to be annoyed at your own home? Is this how wars get started? As for points, Obleelo once said that a point in every direction is like having no point at all! I say mess with them! Then get back to your spam and cheese for breakfast sans promos for a free vacation overseas or credit point reductions. Crap, I like my muffins in peace and quiet. Besides that, I do not like the fact that most people race to the telephone to answer when it rings. My friends know that I hate that and I have told them just to let it ring for a while, I’ll get there when I can if I am home. I am not a robot and I suppose that it what annoys me. Check it out man, people are so easily conditioned. When was the last that you were at a market, trying to buy something, and then then the telephone rings and the clerk puts you off just to answer? I don’t know, like I said, some things just get to me… .
play gunshot.wav really load and drop the phone
tell really bad jokes
make every line you speak into a question
work obscene and vulgar topics into the conversations
use a different accent
use an English accent
tell really good jokes, try to make them laugh
act like they are an ex lover
act like you are a secret agent
play pron in the background (if you can)
do a Monty Python skit (spam and eggs)
Sing a Monty Python song
tell 'em about your pokemans
and finally : use obscenely expansive and ostentatious language, causing a mental breakdown.
Spam spam spam spam lovely spam! Its wonderful spam! Lovely Spam! Its wonderful spam! Thanks for bringing that one up Moonflower, I haven’t heard that it a long time!
I all ready did the gunshot. wav thing. It was way funny until I had 7 (count them 7) AR what evers pointed at me as I was handcuffed and thrown to the ground. The local yokels bounded through my house with searches and stuff, causing me mental trauma. Yeah, I had to spend the night in jail after beating my head on a cop car. I did have the pleasure of pissing of a judge though! Hey now, I have been convicted of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest! Hmmmm, maybe now I could work for Bank Of Amerika?
Come on guys, I have already been there, in a way it it sort of like live or die.
I’ll tell you what, I will still mess with them, it is my destiny. Yeah, from the top all the way down. I’ll have to ask all of those hot-shots to come and live with us. You know, have beans and corn for supper? Heck, if they are nice, I might give them some hot-sauce and salt!
Life is fun!
My dad sometimes just lies the receiver in front of him and waits, saying nothing until they finally hang up. - sometimes that’s hilarious to listen to…
I myself didn’t have lots of them but usually I’d just hang up.
I just say: “Und Tschüss!”. And for the part on quick answering, they just let automatically dial some “random” numbers and if enough answers for the still non busy operators are started all other still outgoing calls are immediately stopped and the poor persons on the other end were running for nothing. Sad its not like in that very song “Money for nothing” which is a little CG related on the video part.
I had the idea of impersonating one of those automated telephone response servers…(in all honesty, I actually sound like one).
“were sorry, but telemarketing calls are considered as illegal on this phone number.”
I like the idea of babbling at them till they get annoyed though
Cool! I have to tell you though that babbling is indeed an art! One must have all of the hooks in place and then the game begins. I swear, it can get really funny! The idea is not to annoy them, but to lure them into endless conversation. They never know what hit them! Then suddenly, one eighth of there shift is gone! Haaa, then they don’t get to call anyone else in the meantime. Sometimes I wonder what, or even if, they may think about later. I have even tried talking to my dog while they are on the line and are listening. It does kind of get fun because my dog does not speak English, only Labrador. So, if I engage him in a conference about funeral costs or whatever, I can only imagine what is going on on the other end of the line. (Sometimes it is difficult not to break out laughing!) A good thing though is that I am learning how to speak Labrador! (And oh yes, he gets quite vocal at times!)
I guess it is kind of a sport and better than the teevee. I was just looking for new suggestions.
Yep, call me up and annoy me…
We ought to try that with our telemarketers. My sister likes to immediately shout “QUIT CALLING HERE!!” after answering and then hanging up immediately after saying this…
Heh! In my opinion, anything is a better sport than watching the Television.
It sucks you in and wastes time. And its boring after a while too:
That’s not to say I wouldnt mind watching a movie every once and a while :).
but I’d prefer making something to watching the made product…
No, no no, Yelling is bad! It does not work. The idea is to just change the whole idea. That sounds easy right? Just try it once in a while. I think that you may find it fun!
I have the same peeve with the random missed numbers on my cell phone and that damn please call me blarney SMSs. You probably need to be South Africa to understand exactly how weird phone etiquette is in this country. I just ask them to hold and put the phone down without hanging up.
Play various sound clips from different shows. Might I recommend the scene from Family Guy where Stewie told his older self to have “relations” with his female co-worker in the next room? I remember he mispronounced the names of both genitals.
Crap! I almost broke my old record today! I got a call that said that my household had been selected for an “all expenses paid” Caribbean vacation/cruise for two.
So, being in a somewhat playful mood, I went ahead and poked all of the buttons and listened to elevator music until I finally got to a human.
She was young I could tell. She asked me for my name and so I told her my first name (shortened) only.
Then she started into the whole speel. I asked her where she was calling from, and she told me “Hollywood, Florida”. So I asked her about the weather there and what it was like. She started telling me. (Ahaa, now you have them hooked!)
Then she started telling me about the whole “package”. She started off by saying that first of all, you have to pay for your own transportation. I asked, what do you mean, it supposed to be all expenses paid right? She told me that she was in reservations and that she did not know. Then, she went on to ask me if I had ever been on a cruise before. I told her no. She continued telling me about having 2 days and three nights in my choice of hotels in beautiful Fort Lauderdale. I told her that I had already been there and the thing that got to me there were the big giant bugs (no kidding unless you have already been there in the early summer, then you already know).
She went on to ask me who would be coming with me on the cruise. So I told her “my dog”.
That took her back a step or two. She asked if that I did not have someone else to travel with. And I told her nope, just me and my dog. Then she started explaining that a dog on a cruise ship might not be so easy to do as they may be running about. I told her not to worry because he a really large dog and stays at my side all of the time. Then I asked her about which ports of call that me and dog would get to experience. She started to tell me and then their stupid system timed out. It was getting funny though!
