Nature Scene - Theevan

Artwork Focused Critiques
1

This is a scene from my short film ‘Theevan’. The trees and cottage house model is from TurboSquid.com.

The scene attempts to follow the main character, Theevan, reflecting back on the good times of his childhood.

Feel free to comment, criticise, etc.

treeisland3composited.jpg1024×576 72.2 KB

2

Hello :slight_smile: I like the scene itself, but have two crits:

  1. Make the DOF a little less, it makes it look like a miniature

  2. The scene in my opinion is a little bland, maybe add something for more of a story or eyecandy? Like snow or plants and grass. Just something to catch the attention of the viewer.

Other than that, good job and good luck on the short film :smiley:

3

I agree, tone down the DOF. It makes me wonder what the water really is. The texture for the sand/dirt for the house could be better.
Keep up the good work and good luck on making a short film.

4

I agree with the others
the house and sand doesn’t exactly fit to the background
maybe the windows should be more than just one face.
keep working on this project and good luck!!

5

I think you should spend some time working on where the water meets the land; There should, realistically, be some disturbance between the water and the mud. Secondly, I think the mud should be partially visible under the shallow water.

Other than that, trees, atmosphere and mountains are good.
When will this short film be released?

6

My two cents.
Shrink the normal map on the sand, to put more grain in it.
Tone down the intensity of the water’s color, and lower the alpha, just a little bit.
Upload a updated version. But over all looks good.

7

if you could make the land close the the water a little darker to make it seem wet that would be good. Also, how did you make those trees?

8

Thanks for the suggestions guys. I’ll make the changes as soon as I can.
@Casio23
I’m hoping the movie will release by end of this year, if not by next July probably. I’ll post a link as soon as I finish.

@GraphiX
The trees were from TurboSquid.com. The particle system was then used to create the variations.

9

Hi guys,
Here is the updated version thanks to your suggestions. Changes made include:

  • Lowered DoF
  • Lowered Alpha of water
  • Added some grass
  • Made area around where water meets land more wetter(is that a word?!)
  • Toned down intensity of water
  • Shrinked the sand map and added subtle graininess

The changes are very subtle but hopefully noticeable.

treeisland3compositededited.jpg1024×576 92.9 KB

10

The water is still a little to green to my taste. It looks very polluted, unless thats what yo are going for, I would tone down the color of the water material and let the sky color your water with environment lighting.
Also, I agree with others about the sand texture and also the texture of the mountain looks a bit repetitive.