He he, you need to learn some terminology
object spawner = 3D Cursor
xyz thingy = Transformation Manipulator (some people call it Transformation Widget)
First you need to make sure the Transformation Manipulator is enabled. Pressing Shift Space toggles it. You can check its status in the 3D View Header. If it is enabled, but it is still not visible, the following might be you problem:
The Transformation Widget goes to whatever Pivot Point you have set. If you are using the Cursor Pivot Point (.), then that is where it is. The default pivot point is the Median Point (Shift ,). If you are using the Median Point, and you still can’t see it, it might be because your Object Center (the little dot at the center of your objects) has been misplaced. Return it to its rightful place with Center New in the Mesh Panel of the Editing Context (F9) in the Buttons Window.