Particle hair - how to create and simulate

I’m a beginner if it comes to Blender. I wanted to try to make particle hair using some tutorial… and I did it… But I feel more dumb than I was before… I think I’m missing something. Maybe I got it all wrong.
My main purpouse was to create hair using particles (shape hair in a way I’d like to) and then animate its movement when for example character moves… or change its apperance slightly for static render when I change the pose of the character (collision with objects and so on) Instead … when I stylize hair and do sim, everything falls apart… So far I saw people doing simple hair styles (long straight hair) and simulating them (for animation purpouse) OR to get certain look (for static render)… How can I stylize particle hair and then “simulate” them? Is it possible or I got it all wrong?

http://blender-3d.338.s1.nabble.com/Hair-tp257p364.html