Perfect Dark + FHM

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Mod edit: not work safe

http://www.xbox365.com/gdb/images/GGGNLNidLL05122204/jonana.jpg

Never quite understood why people call something like this perfect, even though you can’t even touch ‘it’.

that’s the thing… cause you can’t touch her… she can’t give you cooties… perfect :stuck_out_tongue:

She has silicone implants, so she isn’t exactly perfect.

You’d prefer saggy gran boobs? Wu, don’t answer that. IMO implants are man’s way of making up for God’s imperfections.

Maybe I’m just a lonely guy but she looks pretty good to me. I don’t care if she’s not real. What is real? With a human being, you can see her and touch her body but all you’re getting are images/sensory reaction in your head. With a girl on a page, she has a different look/feel but you still get a sensory reaction.

I don’t know what to think of that…

But maybe one day us 3D artists will be able to see our own models in porno magazines. :slight_smile:

You can’t touch most of the women on magazine covers…unless you want to end up in a small room with a big guy who CAN touch you :slight_smile:

Right Wu? :stuck_out_tongue:

page after page of bikini busting beauties the cover says, haha, yeah right. i like my women large none of this c-cup crap. if the girl is under 200 pounds i dont even bother, clubs and bars, forget that i’m at the fat camps in the summer, over eaters meetings at night, and the arobics classes during the day. trying to pick up the large voluptous women over 35 years old. that is were my money is. no young skinny things for me!

You’d prefer saggy gran boobs? Wu, don’t answer that.

no preferably between the age of 35 to 50, thats the magic numbers. no saggy either. speaking of older women boobs, i saw a lady at my work with triple e-cup, oh my god, i almost had a heart attack. i’m to the point now that i dont even try to cover up that i’m staring. i just go up and say can i help you, hahah, if i’m lucky i can lure them into a conversation where i can just relax and stare, hahah, osxrules your mom is great! tell her to come into my work everyday! yes triple e-cup you make my life complete!

You can’t touch most of the women on magazine covers…unless you want to end up in a small room with a big guy who CAN touch you

Right Wu?

the only time i got locked up was when me and you tried to pose as arobic instructors so we could pick up on those 40 year old chicks with the huge mellons. those were great times werent they!

Yeah, that’s like a month’s wages for me but you do get what you pay for so I have to save up.

i’m to the point now that i dont even try to cover up that i’m staring. i just go up and say can i help you, hahah, if i’m lucky i can lure them into a conversation where i can just relax and stare,

Haha, I do that with girls now too. It annoys the hell out of them but they can’t do anything about it. There’s no point in hiding it. God gave some girls a nice body and gave me eyes to see them. I would be disrespecting God not to look.

hahah, osxrules your mom is great! tell her to come into my work everyday! yes triple e-cup you make my life complete!

Yeah my mom’s ok but I think my aunt’s better ;).

clubs and bars, forget that i’m at the fat camps in the summer, over eaters meetings at night, and the arobics classes during the day. trying to pick up the large voluptous women over 35 years old. that is were my money is. no young skinny things for me!

Hmmm, I think somebody may have uploaded a picture of you:

http://img280.imageshack.us/img280/3955/crush7bv.jpg

(^warning disturbing content for some, arousing for others).

Don’t know clubs and bars, I find them to be the most effective way to get a lady to spend more than 2 minute with me. Clubs, bars, blackjacks or any other solid object I can swing.

Indeed, but I thought we agreed not to tell anyone about that.

Yeah, that’s like a month’s wages for me but you do get what you pay for so I have to save up.

yeah but you would have to get a job first, before you can make wages, haha, and the photo is great! and i like that fact that you managed to let god take the blame for us staring a womens breasts, i will try that at work, “excuse me miss, i dont think you should walk away from me, god has given me specific instructions to stare at that sweater meat, so just stand still for five minutes while i get some good imagery for later when i get home and then you can go, thank you for your paitence.”

Don’t know clubs and bars, I find them to be the most effective way to get a lady to spend more than 2 minute with me. Clubs, bars, blackjacks or any other solid object I can swing.

my best line is this, first walk up to the woman, and then get on two knees, then start crying and speak the next few lines.
oh god please, i’m so lonely, please god, please, just hold my hand i have not had any human contact in the past week, please dont leave me here, i need you, oh god my back hurts, please hold me, please, i will let you sit on my head just dont walk away, i dont want to cry myself to sleep tonight again, please, oh god please.

gets the chicks everytime, let me tell you! :wink:

And exactly how many times have you tried this? Furthermore, do you have the bawls to try if you haven’t done so already?

:o i wanna … model her :o

My GF’s boobs are pretty up there with them LOL (i better not let her find out i said that LOL) but its true.

teeth will surely edit it, so read it while its around still :stuck_out_tongue:

Alltaken

Or he’ll Email it to her for all those mom jokes…

Hahaha, they should totally make a t-shirt with that on it. It would at least distract them long enough to take in the view ;). Oh the irony.

[quote]i saw a lady at my work with triple e-cup, oh my god,

My GF’s boobs are pretty up there with them LOL (i better not let her find out i said that LOL) but its true.[/quote]

Do you even get a triple e-cup? I though women only had two breasts. Triple-e cup maybe. I know what some women do have though and I suspect Alltaken’s GF modelled for this:

(warning boobies)
http://www.afraidtoask.com/breast/breastsize.html

^ you’ll know what I mean when you see it. :wink:

My GF’s boobs are pretty up there with them LOL

damit man, and shes cute too, i looked up that old photo that i was going to try and use in the goofing of project orange. lucky bastard. dont go screwing that up dude. all you need in life is a enjoyable job, a few good friends, a hobby you enjoy, and a cute girl with big cans! dam you!

does she have any young female realitives in the usa?

Dittohead, fortunatly i have not had to use that line myself, i have been blessed with amazing good looks, you on the other hand might want to keep that one handy, oohh badda bing!

You young kids and your Rock and Roll, half Naked women and Booze!!!

Who needs a girl as long as porn, and a good lube is available…

:P:P:P:P I too, am very sexy and get not only the Milfs, but the Fresh Picked from them farm college girls, coming in waves every semester, All looking for a good time and a quickie. Now where did I put that Axe body spray…It really does work!

I KNEW IT! You’re not after the MILFs at all. Or do you just go for the young 'uns first to make the contact? :stuck_out_tongue:

Did you guys check out the hairy nipple girl? Man, that was freakin’ gross. I thought Alltaken was kidding about that. shudder http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/31.gif

Yeah but who does the dishes? Haha, I’m just kidding ladies. I mean ironing.

Does anyone here know the meaning of the word “lascivious”?

And you know what? I’m probably just asking for a thorough flaming (providing the parties prone towards such were in posession of a vocabulary sufficient to intuit my implications). sighs What the heck. I can take it. I’ve been there before.

points and laughs anyway