Alright, I need some advice, and this is the only place that i can really ask, i’m kinda too shy to ask anybody i acually know
There’s this girl i’ve kinda-sorta been going out with, you can read more about that thing in the conversation post (go search for it, i’m too lazy to go find the link to that thread). I kind of like her, but i don’t know if I really like her enough to call her my girlfriend. She just seems more like a good friend then someone i’d go out with.
On the other hand, there’s this girl i really like at the high school. She’s really cool and i think that she likes me too. The only thing is that I’m afraid of hurting the feelings of the other girl if i went out with this girl. I’m pretty sure that the one i’ve been kinda going out with really likes me, and i’m afraid of hurting her feelings and we won’t be friends. Should i go out more with the girl i have been and maybe try to get it into a more boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and see where it goes, or should I ask the other girl out?
On a side note, am I wrong in thinking that there has to be a certain level of participation from the girl in conversation? I ask questions, she answers them but barely ever responds with something i can extend on. I don’t think i should be the only one trying to keep the conversation going, right?
First of all realize that the chances of your spending the rest of you life with either of them is slim. I understand that that is not what you’re asking but the point is there will be hurt feeling down the road regardless of your course of action.
The girl that you are friends with now needs to know how you feel and you need to insist on a candid answer from her, but before that conversation takes place you have to make a decision about what you want to ask her. If you feel that second girl is really someone you want to be with then you have to tell your friend that and ask her for an honest response. I would caution you that the second girl may just look good because the friendship you have with the first is simply not everything that you want it to be.
So first sort out your feeling (a monumental task at best) and then talk to your friend.
One last thing, if you friend tells you she doesn’t know the answer she is in all likelihood trying to spare your feelings. Respond to that answer by letting her know that right now her feelings are more important to you than your own and that if she is just trying to spare you some pain she need not.
I think you’ll find your honesty will inspire hers.
i’m no doc but i would say that you like the first girl but dont feal physicaly attracted to her.
you care about your appearence and she doesnt really fit into the picture.
A question you should ask yourself is do you love the first girl because you obviously care for her a lot and its obvious that you’ve shared more than most friends do.
to be honest i cant advise you cos if your looking for someone else its extreamlly likley you could hurt the first girl a few months down the line.
you could just tell her the truth. you like someone else and are thinking about asking them out. if shes a true friend she will stay by you (just dont mess her about).
But being honest would most probably protect you from hurting your own self…
This is what you should becareful of… In situations such as the one you’re in, right now, the biggest danger is to hurt your own self… Be honest and you’ll do fine…
I can’t and don’t actually want to help you decide which girl you should choose to be with…
This is something that only you can give the apropriate answer… If I were you I would follow only my heart and my instinct…
tell the girl your friends with what you feel, maybe shell understand and shed rather be your friend forever than be your girlfriend and someday fight really bad and not talk to each other anymore. i dont know thats just my opinion.
