Her face is too pink while the rest of her skin has an uniform golden undertone. Because color is relative this is throwing your perception off.
So, some small aspects of this work could use extra love. I’ll address some later, but first I can’t emphasize strongly enough how important it is to study real people with similar looks to what you’re trying to represent then different as well, to build a solid visual library. It doesn’t matter if you’re not going for realism, it doesn’t matter if you’re aiming at “artistic” representations. The key to stylize anything is understanding your subject. This is the foundation of art.
First you understand the underlying phenomenon behind the look of anything, things like “why this cheekbone is shaped this way?” or “why does this skin tone contains these hues?”.
Then you try to reproduce these things, putting into practice what you have learned to check if you truly grasped the thing you’re studying.
Then, finally, you exaggerate, switch or omit phenomena to achieve deliberate stylization.
I’m saying this as someone who is both self-taught and a painter by trade, so make of that what you will.
The first thing that jumped at me was the hair. I suspect the root diameter is too small, making it look synthetic. Lighter hair colors tend to have thinner shafts, but that’s not the case here. I’d expect to see thicker hair for this shade. First tip: It’s easier to get away with thicker-than-real hair than thinner.
Also complicating the matters are the growth patterns. The hair is standing up the roots in a very unnatural manner. Even when using hair with fewer steps you can alleviating this by going in particle edit mode, selecting roots and the next hair key, subdividing once then brushing the hair back so the roots stand closer to the scalp.
The hair is also all pulled back when real hair tends to grow downwards. I’d expect to see an S shape here. Lastly, the hairline is a perfect curve while real hairlines tend to be more jagged. With that face shape I’d expect to see it recede immediately over the temples, get closer to eyebrows over the temples and do a soft S when approaching the ears.
Mouth and Jawline
The second important detail that seems off is her mouth. Her lips sit notably forward on her face, yet there’s no volume variation underneath them, suggesting a lower jaw that juts really forward, with lower teeth resting over her upper teeth as shown in the gif. The lips are also pretty narrow, barely reaching the inner corner of the eyes, looking like if plucked. Most people’s lips reach close to the middle of their eyeballs.
Neck, Ears and Eye Sockets
This neck curve seems off to me, and so does the transition area that exists between eye sockets, nose and forehead (eyebrows inner corners). Noses don’t go all way up to the forehead in straight lines, they blend in the socket curves, more or less following the shape of inner eyebrows. The way it is right now suggests a frown, making she look concerned or irritated. And the ear looks squished, pretty tall and thin.
Eyebrows and Eyelashes
I don’t feel they have a natural shape for this facial structure, and the hair itself seems pretty homogeneous and long. They feel both too far apart and ending too deep into the temples. I expect to see more strands in the lower inner part of them, and sparser and thinner hairs as it progresses to the outer areas. I 100% recommend to look at lots of different eyebrows. It can be surprising how their growth patterns vary among different facial structures.
The eyelashes are also really homogeneous, too dense and thick on the lower eyelid and too thin on the upper. They should clump together and vary in length.
Skin Hue and Texture
I expect to see at least 3 major skin hues/saturation variations on a face, with temples, cheeks and jaw tinged differently. We can use artworks where the effect is exaggerated to great effect to better see this detail.
(A self portrait by Sir Anthony van Dyck and The Cradle
by Berthe Morisot)
I usually use more yellow on the temples, pink/red blush on cheeks and blue/green on the jaw. Applying the same concept to 3d after adding a bit of red blush to her shoulders:
Here are two common facial flush patterns:
And I think I see some veins on her texture, but they don’t follow exactly the most common facial density patterns. I’d be something more like this.
Here’s the overpaint with some of these considerations applied:
I hope this helps! I actually worked on a similar 3d facial structure, I can share a shot for stylization reference if you wish.