Sci-fi WIP for local art competition

Below (so far) is my current work that I am submitting for a local art competition. I’d appreciate any constructive criticism you can offer on any aspect of the image. The theme for the contest is to create something based on the following phrase: “Your adventure begins here”.

Also if you have any suggestions, those are welcome as well. Thank you for your time.

Current render:

Attachments


My deadline is April 22, so if anybody could spare a minute and comment I would really appreciate it. :slight_smile:

Hi santacloz23, it’s coming along nice. But it would be helpful, if you give us a little bit more to see and to comment on. Especially the ship is too grainy and too dark to see anything. What’s that arrow on the ship for? The lights at the right beneath the ship are somewhat unaligned.

  1. Turning up the number of samples will help get rid of the grainyness. Say 1000+ samples-ish.

  2. The yellow text against a white background is indistinguishable. You could use something that will better contrast, like Orange, or Red. Or put a small black border around the text.

  3. In the linked image (http://i1289.photobucket.com/albums/b504/thomasbowe34/TestRender11_zpsac2e1161.png) (I’m guessing the attached is an earlier version?) The roof is much darker, which in my opinion makes it look less nice. I think the roof in the attached image looks better lit.

  4. The grungy texture on the door is kinda at odds with the more cartoony aesthetic of the spaceship and satellite. Toning down the contrast on that texture should make it fit in better.

I definitely agree that the satellite needs some more texture to it; perhaps make the colors sort of an off-pastel instead of full-value (i.e. .937 instead of 1 on the color slider), and maybe add a grungy texture with a very slight diffuse weight so that it won’t overpower the original colors.

All-in-all, I’d say the big thing is to break up spaces without any color changes; this scene feels wonderfully lived in, and places that don’t have any texture or grunge or glow cause issues. What renderer are you using? If you’re using BI, I’d consider turning on a very light Ambient Occlusion effect to see if it makes a difference. In particular, the lights along the hangar floor don’t seem to be reflecting anything or have any distortion at all; looking at the ensconced CFL in my room there’s definitely some distortion on the cover based on how it bends but also just the way the plastic messes with the light; it softens itself up a little rather than just being the white-yellow it comes out as. On the LED desk lamp I have, you can actually see through the outer surface and catch a direct look at the diode, or the dust that has gathered from the fact that I keep it pointing straight up. Consider doing something like that to your light surfaces to make them more interesting; you can do this either in BI or Cycles pretty easily, though I’m too tired to work out exact ways to right now (well, with Cycles you could mix a Transparent and Diffuse shader with a factor of hard noise to create the dust, if you’re sure to also mix that with a Translucency shader until you’re happy with it).

Okay, thank you for the replies!

minoribus: The object in the background (behind the ship) is meant to be a “space” billboard or sorts, and the arrow and text is the logo of the people holding the art competition. The reason it is so grainy is I’m only using 500 samples until I have a final image, since my laptop is not the best in the rendering department.

skywolfblue: Thank you for those suggestions, I’ll definitely try them out later when I get the time. I wasn’t trying for cartoon-ish actually (more like photorealism :P), but I think that style would suit this piece of work better.

SquireNed: Thanks for those tips. I agree with the satellite, I threw that in there at an early stage and haven’t gone back in there to enhance it. I will certainly try something with the lights (I’m using Cycles), but I was intending to blur them a little bit (if that would help?).

Okay, my newest render is on the top (I can’t make the “attached thumbnail” go away). My goal is to try to complete this work and turn it in on/before Friday so anything you think would improve this image please let me know.

I removed the satellite sign part until I can fix it, which is what I want to do next.

One more thing perhaps you could do:

The floor could use something, either some simple “Land Here!” dotted yellow lines…

…Or a more shiny, mirrorlike, star-trek style look. I think you already have a Glossy shader on the floor? Which is good. Turning down the Roughness value (0.1 is good, anything less then 0.1 you’ll need to start using the clamp value (in render properties) because you’ll get fireflys (bright pixels)), or choosing Sharp as the distribution method are some ways you could tweak it to get a more mirror-like result. Or maybe if you wanted to go REALLY crazy you could add a thin layer of glass (via creating a new thin box to cover the floor and giving it a glassy shader), but that would probably increase render times by a fair amount and take some tweaking to get right.

Both of those are really more optional “things to try” rather then a hard suggestion. :slight_smile:

Okay so here’s a suggestion: Right now the ship looks like a background element. If you are trying to say, “Your adventure begins here.” I think you need to make the ship more prominently featured. Right now it seems like the docking bay is where you adventure begins which isn’t wrong per-say but it would make more sense if there was a ship there too. I also agree with the comment about the floor needing some markings. All in all it’s not bad, it just needs something more to capture your attention. The room is a bit empty. Maybe put some stacked crates or some other ships docked or some loaders or something. I feel like it just needs to be something more then an empty bay.

thanks!

@Indy_Logic: The object above the door is going to be a screen displaying the words: “Your adventure begins here”. This hangar bay is like a bus station for DART, (my local public transportation place) which is why “your adventure begins here”. My idea is that the ship in the background has just left on an adventure. I really don’t have the time nor the skill to model a nice, detailed space bus like I wanted so I decided to just put it in the BG, which I kind of actually like.

I am also working on adding a fuel tank to the floor along with a fuel hose along the floor, with some crates and misc objects. Thanks for your suggestions, I’m feeling like I’m close to the finish line. :slight_smile:

I would like to see something on the floor of the hanger such as maybe a designated landing area or safety lines such as where people can and cant walk, but that is my preference and might not suit you. If you do not want to texture, you can always create plates which is easy as you dont have to do any textures and can give you some more depth. Below is what I am talking about


Good idea! I’m going to jump into Photoshop and see what I can come up with.

Render updated. Please tell me what you think!

look like you forgot to attach the image… :slight_smile:

The first image in the original post is the current render. Don’t pay attention to the attached image, it’s old and won’t go away.

I hear you about the time and skill constraints but honestly how are you going to improve you skill? :wink:

When I think of those “Travel by bus” adds that they used to advertise there is almost always a bus in the image. I don’t feel like just showing a picture of a bus station is going to be enough. But, I hear you and understand your concerns. It’s just that right now it’s just a picture of an empty hanger and not very interesting. If the plan was just to model an interesting Hanger then fine. You’ve done a good job.

I think it looks much better now, and I do agree with Indy_logic, give it some advertisement.

Something simple be to create some large screens above the door or hanging from the ceiling down, perhaps with different images that are glowing. This will also add some colour.


You could also go for a time table being visible

Yeah, I get what you are saying Indy. Maybe I can work on one this weekend and put it in the middle of the hangar. We’ll see what time allows. Thank you for taking the time to give me advice, I can’t say enough how much I appreciate it.