How do I change the bounds to my mesh not a frikin sphere?
You could parent a cube to your mesh.
Whenever you apply a bounding to your mesh it displays a sphere. But when you assign bounding - box, polytheder, sphere, it changes the bound, but it will still show you a sphere while it acts different. The sphere indicates if it’s an actor or not.
As far I know the dotted sphere doesn’t change, personally I hope they change it sometimes that the dotes line applies to the buond you have choosen, box, polythere, cylinder or else.
how do i make the mesh the bounds though because i can make it a cube or cone or whatever but I want the bounds to be the mesh
I thought that the bounds that used the mesh outline is: Confex Hull Polytope.
Long hard word, but I think that’s what you want. 
I believe it’s ‘Convex Hull Polytope’. Well, in version 2.41 anyways.