Short Movie - Jessica Meets Jazelle

I’m starting work on an approximately 5 minute short. Here’s a link to the script.
http://pc.celtx.com/project/2F3p0bKsrTmG

Here’s a link to the full script it originated from ( for context )
http://pc.celtx.com/project/Y0sJN2KVmwGO

I’m working on storyboarding next. Comments and crits so far?

Good preperation and planning. Is this for a commercai project or for fun? Looking forward to see more.

Thanks.

My motive for this is for fun and for learning. It’s based on a derivative of the first script I’ve ever written so I don’t have any illusions that it would be fit for commercial purposes. I’ll keep you posted as the storyboards progress.

3 storyboards for the opening establishing shot put up on the script’s site.
By the way, here is a sketch of Jessica, the stories red-haired 18-year-old protagonist.
http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/1590/jessicasketchtp0.jpg
By cotejrp at 2007-11-27

Don’t over do it. You really don’t need 3 pics in the storyboard for the first scene. Don’t forget to KISS.

And also, in this purely script stage, do you need two scenes? Do you really need to have a shift in space? Why can’t the squirrels be there… hop here and there and THEY walk into the scene. You probably agree that it’s a bit unbalanced in the scene count.

How many pages is it in the PDF?
The standard count is “one page is one minute”.

Okay, your right. I’ll applyyour suggestions plus have a few more storyboards put in by sometime either today or tomorrow.

The script is 5 pages long which is how I got the 5 minute estimate for this short.

Keep up the work.
You can always send me a private message if you feel you want someone to be brutally honest about your script. If I seem harsh, it’s not the goal, just trying to force you to make the best you can. No slacking! :stuck_out_tongue:

A few updates to the script done. More physical acting and a little less dialog. A few unnecessary storyboards removed and new ones added.

Comments from all are welcome.