Should i stay or should i go? (To end 3D modeling, or keep carry on?)

Feels like i don’t want to do 3D anymore, new project and all i feel is anxiety and fear. All those overtimes, endless client “wishes” got me to the edge, besides, Blender doesn’t have good bridge between other 3d products like max, which translates in flow of swearing from colleagues into my direction. I work with company that do everything related to trains, but i don’t like to do trains, i don’t like it, they’re boring, from beginning to the end. So if it gets hot and close to deadline, i can’t force myself to model it overtime, because this is not kind of models that i like and will be proud in future, i won’t post it anywhere, i won’t look at them in future, because they’re horrific. Quality of my works drastically dropped, I watch my old works and all i think is - “Did I do this? Are they’re really mine? They’re so good! How could i do those models?”

In the beginning I wanted to be 3D animator, but there’s (in my city) no studios or anything like this who could pick newbie animator like me, and here (Blender Artists) need pretty experienced people, so i started learning how to model, thought i gonna do cool stuff, but reality is - people mostly need boring stuff (which actually possible find in net for free) like trains, laptops, smartphones. And again, in local jobs section need experienced people.

And not to mention - income is low, i have very specific set of skills, which is impossible to get at proper level in local schools, colleges, institutes, i learned everything by myself, and my income is same, as factory security guard! (actually lower, because those money are divided into 3 months cuz of overtimes)… I actually considering this as my potential job, i will have much more free time and consistent per-month income to learn something else, or re-learn animation and improve myself here.

Now I’m sitting stressed out and cannot force myself to work with new task (make someone else messy real-time model look pretty for render and do it’s internals, and materials).
So, should i just stop this all, or somehow overcome it and keep carry on, though i don’t know why should i, in a long shot this company can’t provide me future i want

P.S. Damn, stress is real struggle - my hairs are falling off because of that, i didn’t even hit 27 and already have a glimpse of bald spot! Sometimes it’s even scary to look into mirror. I want to buy some stuff for it, but still haven’t got my payment for last project, because I’m not protected with local statutory working code, so they can stretch it as long as they want… also i missed Black Friday because of that
(damn, I couldn’t put my thoughts into short sentence again)

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Hi, sorry to hear that you are stressed. I think that life should be fun and that If you are unhappy with what you do you should try something different. We all spend a big part of our lives working to get money so it is best (I know not always easy) for you to do a job that you enjoy.

As for giving up 3d altogether, it sounds like what you do not enjoy is the work that is available for you, which is understandable. Maybe you should try to find a different job that you enjoy, or at least are comfortable doing and go back to 3d simply as a hobby modeling things you you find fun to do.

Good luck and I hope you find your way ahead.

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Very sorry to hear about your stress. I think most of us can agree that 3D can be frustrating and tedious at times. My suggestion is to always keep a creative outlet of some other sort. And make sue you get time away from the computer and technology in general.

As far as work goes, maybe focus on another avenue of income so that you aren’t waiting on payments. Dabble in other areas. Learning new things can be fun.

Here’s some stress-free vibes your way. :slight_smile:

Hey man, sounds like your jobs sucks. When your job sucks, you should get out of there. Life is short and there are better jobs out there. Sometimes it hard to believe when you’re in a certain situation, but always trust that the world can be different than the one you are experiencing right now.

About your bald spot, that’s probably just genetics. Sorry man, that sucks. But honestly nobody cares about your look if you’re a good person. If somebody cares about that, you should ditch them because those are not the people who can see you for who you really are. :heart:

Without further information about yourself, I’d suggest you try to invest in education. Maybe find a job that pays as much as the one now, but isn’t as stressful, but allows you do some schooling on the side. Find something you don’t necessarily love to do, but something you are good at. Maybe even something you are not emotionally invested in.

As for 3D I’d say don’t focus on that. 3D can be anything you want. There are great artists out there who started with 3D as a hobby before they made a living out of it. Jerry Perkins aka Masterxeon the mastermind behind HardOps did modeling in Blender while working in a call center to lift the boredom of the job. Ditch 3D if its standing in your way and pick it up again when you love it. It’ll always be there for you, but it’ll also wait if there are more urgent matters in your life.

I am just rambling, I hope it helps. $$$ :monkey_face: :+1:t4:

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“Stress?” Welcome to the world of work! :man_shrugging:

People constantly make promises to other people “who agree to pay them money if those promises are fulfilled.” Your downstream-salary derives from that.

Nevertheless – you have your own life to live, and nobody’s actually asking you to sacrifice this for a paycheck.

Obviously, if you are right now experiencing the level of personal stress that you are right now apparently experiencing, “you should promptly seek help.” And, the very first person that I would now recommend to you is: “your manager.”

“Waitaminit, will ‘my manager’ actually understand what I am right now going through?” Frankly: "you can be damned sure that (s)he will.

The very most important thing for you, right now, is that you do not let yourself “stew in your own juices,” having persuaded yourself that “you are all alone.” "You are not!" “Your personal perspectives,” as you perceive them right now, can very easily mislead you … and really screw-up your life unnecessarily. (Trust me on this …)

Indeed, no matter what business you find yourself in, "this is a trap." One that is very easy to get into, then (unnnecessarily …) hard to get out of. Simply because you didn’t think to reach out beyond yourself. Never become “your own worst enemy.” In this, “you are among friends!”

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I’ve said this many times - can’t you find people on the net to collaborate with (storyguys, musicpeople, artists, etc) to make CG for Youtube?? How’s that? :slight_smile:

See if this helps you: https://www.artella.com/

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Based on threads from CGSociety and elsewhere, one thing you should do is kill the idea of working for anyone who is willing to throw a few bucks your way. Talk to potential clients first and then decide if they will allow enough flexibility to avoid a high level of frustration. In addition, if forgotten payments are becoming an issue, then start telling clients to either pay in advance or pay as a requirement to receive the files you worked on. If teams are an issue, then look for clients who are willing to allow you to work as an individual.

Now of course this might seem like it will make you less money, but it is obvious the current way you are working is not cutting it, the fact that you are stressed to where you are getting worse at CG is a red flag. One should also keep in mind that many artists have supplemental jobs to at least provide some stable income, because of the difficulty in making a living otherwise.

One final point, be sure to make time for sleeping a priority, many times a problem will clear itself up after a period of deep sleep concludes, and having very little sleep over a very long period can potentially be fatal.

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Doesn’t sound like this is something you enjoy doing, and there is no real financial motive. I’d definitely look for something to do that you either enjoyed or at least got paid well to do. Otherwise, why do it?

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Thanks everyone for your help, i’m really appreciate for your supportive answers. I guess i should start looking for another place to go, and again think about what i actually want to do with my life in terms of career and how i will start it (fun fact - often we already know what we will do, but we need additional nod of someone to prove that our decision is good).
But damn it’s hard to find job during corona! Especially right before New year, but I’ve must get some money now to have something to live on during holidays + in my city (but i guess it’s common across whole country) almost every single company i know (i have some previous bad experience) exploiter in one or another way, also i below experience bar + companies usually need people with multiple skills (and every single of it should be mastered), I’ve got decent 3d, forgotten animation, beginning level of ue4 and other small skills, that’s not enough

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You will hate any job you get even if it is in animation. That is just what happens when you do the same thing over and over day after day. You real problem here is money. Ask for more money for these train jobs. I’d say ask for as much as you would need to be getting to make it worth your time including the overtime that you know you will have to put in. With that you will have time to do your own animation, work to a different career, take a walk, or do anything else you want to do after the job is done or between jobs.

If that doesn’t work out your only choice would be to take a different job. 3D is super competitive and even the best of the best have problems making a decent living.

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Where do you live, out of curiosity?

Russia

Addition to background - back in the 90s was BIG trouble with crime level, and all those criminals founded back then lots of different companies, banks, government… and all of them exist today, and they growing, not by competing with others, but by eliminating their rivals, and they lobbied and protected by gov (yeah, we all equal… but some are more equal than others), so they untouchable and can whatever they want, and it explains why local oligarchs so rich, and why people so poor (basically, socialism didn’t really died, people poor like back then, no freedom of expression, and business could do only right people, if you not right person, they will take it away from you, but at least leave you alive, and it’s also really hard to get out from here)

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It’s funny how life plays out (I’ll try to keep this short).

Music. I love it and can’t live without it. I wanted to be a recording engineer and music producer.

I briefly got in to the music industry - and was so disappointed to find out that it was a business - not all fun and games. And, that the only way to get rich is to write or produce hits. I bummed around a while and became a Cable TV technician. That lasted for 10 years or so, until the weather started getting to me. I then worked for a sound and video installation company. They grew quickly and asked me to run the warehouse.

AND THEN - they set a Macintosh computer on my desk and said “use it for what ever you want”. In no time I figured out how to “program” Excel and wrote a warehouse management system. At 32 years old, I went back to school, and then did VERY WELL writing software for 30 years.

By the way, over the years I bought recording equipment and have hours and hours and hours of recordings - mostly friends and family.

Now 3D. I discovered DirectX in 1996 and eventually discovered Blender in 2014. I have 60 or so videos on YouTube and had one paid gig animating a baseball player. I dabble in Blender almost every day.

So, life is a river. Let it drag you along. If you see a rock, try to push yourself away from it.

Good luck.

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60 or so WHAT videos? CG videos? or Blender tuts or something?

CG shorts.

I am at: https://www.youtube.com/Calpgrmr

Thanks for the views everybody!

Cal (a.k.a. CMW3)

Well, the truth is 3D modeling is great when you’re a freelancer as every time you model something different for different people/organizations. Trains and smartphones are boring? I imagine that, after many years, cars may be boring for car designers etc. And expectations, not only clients’ ones, always go with a salary. Try anims and apply to an anim studio and , at least, every time it’s gonna be a different anim with different models.

I disagree. Boredom or dissatisfaction with a job isn’t a function of time spent doing it. If you’re a car designer and you’re bored with cars, you’re either in the wrong place to begin with or doing something seriously wrong yourself (probably the latter, since it’s not a job you go into by default).
I’m on my third line of work now, mainly because either the money wasn’t so great in my first choice and the jobs I ended up doing as my “second career” weren’t fulfilling professionally or personally. If I ever got bored with architecture (unlikely at this stage), I’d definitely look for something else to do.

Only if you were single, without a family to provide for. Otherwise you’d have to consult it with your spouse. Maybe life should be beer and skeetles but, alas, it’s not and you in the West seem to ignore that.

And even biggest love and passion wanes when routine starts to play. Thirty years of marriage and thirty years of designing houses may have the same damaging effect if , from time to time, you don’t provide variation. But mind you, this doesn’t mean adultery or quitting your job.

I didn’t mean to discount economic pressures, it’s just that the OP said he wasn’t happy with the work AND the money wasn’t good. And you might be surprised how many people in the West are in precarious economic situations not of their own making.
As for myself, I had a wife and two kids by the time I changed jobs - the first one was easy for them, because it was pretty lucrative, but me dropping that to become an architect after 40 scared the bejeezus out of my wife. Somehow we’re still all here.

I think I settled on architecture because of the endless variety and opportunities to learn. I think any designer would have only themselves to blame for boredom and routine, though I guess there could be exceptions, as with anything else. I’ve worked on many projects I didn’t like, but I’ve always tried to learn something from them and to find the best solutions to fit them, and it’s largely kept the demons at bay.