Story time

Hey everyone,

I’ve been putting together a story as a hobby for a while, and I thought I’d share the first few chapters and get some feedback from the community. It’s around 30 pages of reading I think, so if you want to read some and just comment on however much you get through that’s great too.

At this point I’m still in the first run through of just getting the overall story down. Afterwards I’ll go back and rework sections that don’t flow as well as I’d like. I tend to overuse verbs in areas, so if you see me using the verb “to hold” in every sentence let me know. It’s a bad habit.

For those debating on whether or not they would be interested in this:
The story is an adventure with some fantasy elements. There are only humans, so you won’t see any dragons, orcs, talking sheep, or flying sharks. It takes place in a medieval setting in four nations that resemble certain places in the real world. Only one nation is visited in these chapters though. I’m hoping the story is engaging, but it’s a hobby so I won’t worry if it doesn’t play out as well as I hope.

Enjoy!
http://mypage.iu.edu/~ajveach/unnamed/UNNAMED1-3.pdf

-Anthony