Please check out my new song on soundcloud, and tell me what do you think of it .
And by the way, if you know an apropriate forum which give the oportunity to member to post music for focused critique, like on this forum but for music, don’t hesitate to tell me !
I liked it! I’m not knowledgeable about music at all or I’d be a little more helpful, but I definitely enjoyed listening.
Thanks ! Don’t hesitate to comment dirrectly on soundcloud
The song as-developed so far is developed quite well. It starts minimally, adding another idea every 15 seconds (but delaying the introduction of the fourth development for an unexpected 30 seconds, not coming-in until 1:15 or so. It has a short “bridge” at the expected mid-way point, giving it an AABAA structure “so far.”
Right now you tend to “add more sound to more sound,” creating an increasing “wall of sound” that starts to feel muddy, whereas you could probably come out better by withdrawing some sounds as you add others. There’s only so-much room for sound. In much the same way that the Histogram and ColorScope tools can tell you how you’re using “visual” space, the frequency-monitor (“Oscilloscope”) display on a sound-mixer can tell you how well you’re using the sound space. The mid-range right now is overcrowded.
What it needs now, I think, is a musically-complementary “C - part,” which can be introduced into the song first as just “a foreshadowing suggestion” sometime around 0:45, and then clearly moved-to shortly before the bridge. Come back to it during the second half, then for the big finish, combine them in parallel to one another. The “C - part” is now revealed to be a counter melody, which harmonizes perfectly with the first idea, and this is what takes us out … Alanis Morisette style … to the “drifting away” ending that we started with.
There are several ways to construct such a “C - part,” and I think you need to be careful to make it “mix well” with “A.” A couple of ideas you can use to get it are retrograde (the “A” part backwards) and inversion (the “A” part upside-down), “hitting the off-beats,” and rhythmic variation.