Texture color to material color (you read that right)

I know that no one in the history of Blender has probably ever wanted to do such a foolish thing, but I am working on a very unique project in which textures and UV mapping are not ideal for the finished product (an exported .obj file).

I have a complex model (mars rover) with a very complex UV map and photo-realistic textures. I wish to subdivide the heck out of the model and change the material color of each face to closely match the texture color over said faces.

I know the effect will only look as good as however small my faces are, so this may be a doomed experiment, but worth a shot.

Thank you so much!