"The Artonian Chronicals" Idea: Good or Bad?

Hey, I was hoping that I could get a few comments on this before I start it. I’ve had this idea for a while now but I want to know what people think.

Plot: You play as a Ranger (You will pick the name) of the south. You begin as a “Guest” to King Keil. You have no idea what you are doing there or why, but Keil explains he has been having problems with rebels in the kingdom. He offers you some gold to go sort them out. If you refuse, he will throw you in the dungeons. If you accept, he will send you along where you will get attacked right outside the castle and end up in the dungeons anyway. It seems you are a prominate leader of the rebels and Keil had lured you into a trap. The rest of the game’s story will be based off your choices. Will you be the Hero of the Rebels, or the fearless knight of a Tyrant?

Gameplay: Similar to that of the Fable series, it will be a free-roaming environment. Your choices in the game will affect how people view you and sometimes will have an affect on the environment (if you go on a mission to destroy a farm, you will come back and find it in ruins later. Then after a year or so you may come back and see someone is trying to rebuild it.) Every quest will have a choice of some kind to it as well (during the quest to destroy the farm, you may have the choice to throw the torch at the barn to light it on fire or swing it at your team of bandits.

So basically a template for open-world RPGs. I don’t see anything innovative here. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but having some element in your game that makes it stand out will without a doubt make it better. A few examples from recent RPG titles:

-Skyrim: open world with almost no restrictions and 300+ hours of gameplay
-Dark Souls: difficulty, atmosphere, and awesome combat
-Amalur: Reckoning: Fighting game like combat and colourful visual style

Perhaps you could take elements from other games but drastically improve them and give your own twist to them?

As for the story, yours seems alright. Not the portion that you posted here, that’s pretty standard, but I can already see where the story could take next. Especially the “rebels” part. Can already imagine the plot twists. So no real problems there.
You should come up with a way to create original characters and plot twists in no time.

Make a beginning to your story. Saying you have “no idea what you are doing there or why” is a common cliché among storylines as an exception for producing a backbone to your main character and the flow of the story. Come up with a reason why he is there and what his purpose is. It would greatly satisfy my interest in how the rest of the story plays out. Otherwise, I agree with the comment above in that it is a well-developed story open for plot twists. Eager to see what you do!

~TBL

It seems pretty random that the evil King puts the Hero into his Dungeon by tricking him when he would put him into the Dungeons anyway – in the End, it doesn’t make any Sense that he tried to trick him in the first Place. If the Hero is a Rebel Leader that shall be fought, then why is he put into the Dungeons instead of being assassinated? And how can it seem the Hero is a Rebel Leader if he himself has no Clue of it? Amnesia? Resemblance or even a Twin Brother Story?

The biggest Fault of this »Story« is that it lacks Detail. If it had Detail, you could express some more Reasons, you could build up a fancy Scenario. That is one Thing you must always keep in Mind: If you write a Story and leave out essential Information, it is most likely that everyone will call it a Lack of Logic and it won’t matter to the People how much you yourself know the Reasons (which I honestly don’t believe right now). If you have a Clue about the Background Story, then give some Hints, some Clues, or you will be misunderstood.

And as said, the Attempt is your typical Everyday RPG Setup – there is nothing to make it special, nothing to make it charming, nothing to make it outstanding. Initially I didn’t even want to give this Response due to the Amount of needed Harshness, but if you filter that out, then you surely see the worthy Information in it.