The Fox Wars

Here’s a little cartoon I made. I’m looking for people who’d be willing to help me with the rest of the cartoon since it’ll be a free web series.

I have an idea in mind so if you’re interested, please comment.

First off, you need to do something about the voices. You can barely understand what they are talking about; especially the white guy. Second, the conversation needs different camera angles. It’s like watching ping pong. Also, every time one character ends a statement, it goes to black for a split second. You need to change that. Another thing is that after 1:20 mark, the pace of the video is really slow and won’t tell the viewer much of anything. It would also be better if you can give us a premise of what the video is all about. So far I can only tell is it has to do with something with video games.

By better camera angles do you mean more motion with the camera or to show different parts. The story after 1:20 is that an alien in space captured a fox and changed it, the fox which is now blue is going back on the space ship to be one of the main villains.

The camera doesn’t have to move but to show the characters in at different angles. Talk a look at some movie clips. As you can see, they don’t repeat the same exact angles over and over again. I suggest you shoot it at 4 different angles. Also, what is the main idea of the series? You told one part of the story of the episode, but not for the entire series.

The point of the story is that an alien from outer space is transform
animals from earth to be used as super weapons against us. Joseph one
of the three man team, builds Animosus to combat the threat they can’t
handle. They later argue over Animosus’ responsibilities and have
different agendas. Joseph wants Animosus to kill undesirable people
which he finds greedy and a threat to people. Demi just wants Animosus
to do what they had built him for. Alex wants Animosus to gain him
political approval.

Animosus is a robotic fox built to combat the super weapons used against earth.

Okay, so you told the story synopsis. However, after the explanation, it feels like you picked a spot in the story and dropped the viewer off. The story has to have some sort of build up and it has to end properly. Another thing, when 2 people are having a conversation, they don’t just sit there. There are secondary movements like hand gestures and sometimes shifting of weight that shows a sense of engagement. I suggest that you study the 12 principles of animation and try to apply some of that in the the video. It’s a start but it needs improvement.

The aniamtion is way way to basic!!

You should try actually lip syncing, that’ll help it a lot

As a start it’s not too bad. How are the voices btw?

Both voices need to be more clear so you can understand them better.