I have been working on this new product that I hope will be on sale in Australia soon: 
You will see from this top and bottom view, the nice “yellow tape” look with the scraping particles on the top face, here is a closeup:
The sharp scraping particles cling nicely to the glue on the tape and are very good for scraping/scratching your irritatingly smooth balls. The size of the device has been carefully designed to fit neatly into the palm of your hand as an added bonus.
Unique Sales Points:
- Can be kept discreetly in your trouser pocket alongside your sunglasses bag.
- Can quickly alter the surface of your balls to get more “swing” when your balls are in the air.
- Can be easily stuffed down your trousers to work on your own personal ball irritations whilst you are doing other things, like spinning a yarn to the umpires, squirming in front of the TV cameras, etc.
- Approved for use by Cricket Australia (pending).
- Monitored Use from our Ball Scraper Control Centre to warn you via radio message if someone is watching you use one (limited to South Africa at the moment). This service is mainly for coaches and support staff to use.
We will supply them in packs of 11, that’s 1 for each team member, along with full set of instructions on usage and a set of plausible excuses as to why you need one. Often people find it hard to admit that their balls are too shiny, particularly on one side. We will also tell you how to get this device down the front of your trousers in under 1/24th of a second, so the cameras don’t catch you in the act of using one in a public place. We will finally tell you how to amuse yourself in all the spare time you are going to get away from your favoured occupation as a result of using other, less capable, ball scrapers in public view. For a small extra fee we will also supply, with every order, a packet of tissues to dry those irritatingly wet eyes you might get from time to time.
Order NOW from Clockmender Ball Scrapers Ltd.
Cheers, Clock. :evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin::evilgrin:
EDIT:
We will be expanding our BSCC Monitoring Service to other locations in the future including India, Sri Lanka, New Zealand, England, West Indies, Bangladesh, UAE, etc.
This is the “Limited Edition Hero Special” version:
It costs a little more, well a lot more actually to cover printing costs, but you get to look at your heroes when you use it.
I am trying to think of names for the colours used, my Marketing Consultants came up with “Puke” for the yellow and “Snot” for the green, I think this may be a little harsh…:no:
Cheers, Clock. :evilgrin:
EDIT:
This is completely un-related to the new product, but I understand that if you suffer from BBTS - Blatant Ball Tampering Syndrome - and would like counselling, a new Hotline is being set up by The Proteas, Stuart Broad, Malcolm Turnbull, The Australian Media - well virtually everyone on the planet who knows what cricket is. I understand from the Hotline administrators that you will be dealt with kindly & sympathetically until your addiction is cured.
You can easily spot BBTS sufferers - they wear strange baggy green headgear and white gunge on their faces. If you see one, just point them in the direction of the helpline.
BREAKING NEWS:
I am told the Hotline is going on Twatter - you can use the hashish tag #CheatingConvictBastards
In the interests of balanced reporting and so the descendants of our surplus convicts from down under 
don’t get too upset, I will also share with you the secret weapon we made for the England Cricket Team for their tour of New Zealand:
I know the ECB will be dismayed at this dreadful breach of client confidentiality, but, if pressed on the matter, I will claim that the Russians, or the Chinese, or the Scots, or someone from Birmingham hacked my BlenderArtists account and posted this without my knowledge. :eek:
Cheers, Clock.
PS. If England had been caught cheating I would not have pulled my punches… :ba:
EDIT:
Reporter to Cameron Bancroft: How many sugars do you take?
Bancroft: 1 in tea, 2 in coffee and 17 in my pocket…
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, ROFL, PMSL, LMFAO, etc. etc. - Lehman didn’t know anything about the ball tampering… Unbelievable, what is believable is that Cricket Australia couldn’t find any other dumb schmuck to do the job. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
OK, so what we should do is all look through our garages and find all the whitewash you have and ship it off to Australia and get the cook in the family to make a ton of fudge to go with it…
There, that’s got that off my chest… Still look on the bright side; sales of yellow tape, sugar, sandpaper, angle grinders, buffing machine, industrial dryers, etc. had plummeted in Australia since Sunday last, now at least they are rocketing again. Cricket Australia have also endorsed my new ball scarper, so that is good for me, orders are flooding in, since there is no sanction in Australia for using one, you still get to play club cricket. :eyebrowlift2:
Cheers, Clock. 
