Two worlds

Artwork Focused Critiques
#1

This is the first time I post in the Focused critique-section, hopefully it deserves to be here.

http://blender.sixmonkeys.geek.nz/albums/album32/2Worlds.jpg

Rendered with blender internal, compositing and a little postprocessing (glow around the lightning bolt,…) in the GIMP, the tree was made with arbaro (in fact I used one of the example presets)
The clouds and fog are two particle-systems, the bright sky is an image from the " Free high resolution skymaps"-thread

There is still a dark “gap” between the grass in the front and in the back - I’ll try to improve the compositing there, I also think the rain could use some more work, for all other ideas/improvements I’m looking forward to your comments

XLA

#2

What do you mean deserves to be here? There is no “minimum skill level” to post in the focused critique but when you post here you are expecting serious critique on your work and accept sometimes harsh criticism.

Well now i will turn my attention to your work. The idea and composition is alright so far but here is what I find weird

*the door frame is a bit find on top, maybe make it thicker
*The door is open but the grass in front of it is not flattened. That area of grass would have gone under the door as it was opening hence it being flattend.
*The grass is a bit high in my opinion compared to the door. Well that just depends on what you want
*The overall texture are a bit simple. I dont seem to see a texture on the grass , door or tree other than simple one color materials

=>Are you going for a cartoony unrealistic feel or a more “real” picture

The rain on the other hand is good. The droplets are a bit thick though.
The lighting is a bit odd, try looking at real pictures of lightning on google and compare them to your’s

So far so good :smiley:

#3

You’ve got a good idea here, it just needs some work on the execution.

For starters, the rain needs to be thinner, and more transparent.
The tree seems to have too much specular on the trunk–it just doesn’t look quite right.
The lightning needs some work, go google some images to see what color it should be, and how it forks.
The clouds look good, no need to change those.
There’s a weird dark line through the grass right at the level of the door. Not sure what’s causing tha, but it needs to go.

Good work, and this could end up looking really good!

/d_M

#4
  • the grass would only be flatten if the door was just opened
  • the lightings ok but lacks atmosphere
    especially were its excaping from the door. it would be bright sunligh not normal room light excaping from a light
  • the grass seems very styllelised though that could b intentional

loving it though, brilliant idea

#5

Thanks for all your comments. Started working on an update already, the grass will definitely become shorter - but it was intended that the grass isn’t flat around the door - showing the door was opened a time ago.

@Slèpnyrl: I’m going for a stylized look therefore I liked the grass - which doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvements :slight_smile:

I also started playing around with the textures - still one of the hardest parts for me, as I don’t have a ‘feeling’ yet for how to use textures to get the effect I want.

So, a lot work to do - I’ll get back with an update as soon as time permits (exams are ongoing right now too)

XLA

#6

I think it would be better if you paint the lighting WITH the background in Gimp (so it looks more realistic) or is this what you already did?
The concept is really cool!

#7

I did the lightning in blender with the lsystem-script after the tutorial from http://www.selleri.org/Blender/
Only the additional glow was added afterwards in GIMP

I’ll try to make an improved version of the blender-version but have googled a nice GIMP-tutorial (http://www.gimptalk.com/topic.php?a=v&t=122&f=8) as backup-plan if that doesn’t work out