Use softbody sim from GAME ENGINE???

Well it seems that the BGE’s softbody solver and the built-in Blender softbody solver are two different things. The key differences are: BGE is fast, easy to setup, and completely useless unless you’re actually making a game, because it seems that there is no way to record the softbody data so it can be played back in the animation. On the other hand, we have the non-game engine blender softbody physics. It can bake the simulation, but it’s also harder to setup, more prone to crazy blender-style sim spaz-outs, and slower to solve than a 5x5x5 rubik’s cube can be solved by a blindfolded quadruple amputee in a vat full of mayonnaise in the hot summer sun whilst defending against wave after wave of angry raccoons.

So is there something I’m missing here??? I’m trying to use the simulation to create some crumpled up dollar bills. The workflow tends to follow this pattern: work for 10 seconds… wait 5 minutes for sim… realize sim is spazzing out… cancel sim… wait for a minute while sim cancels… work for 10 seconds… wait 3 minutes for sim… realize you forgot to switch some setting back on… cancel sim… make one small tweak in 5 seconds… wait for 10 minutes… realize it was better the other way… switch it back… and before long my teeth are rotting out and my long, shaggy beard is getting caught in the fans, so I try to yank it out but it’s caught on something in the computer, all the while it’s getting hotter and hotter because there isn’t any airflow anymore. Long story short, Blender burned down my house.