Very angry friend

My best mate Fred is going through a very rough time at the moment (g/f family etc) n im torn between loyalty to my best mate who i genuinley love and would take a bullet for, and the safety of some of my other friends. A few nights ago fred bruised the bones in his arm because he was so angry after a phone call will his ex he punched a lampost and cut all his knuckled open, and now just a few hrs ago he was going for a run and a friend of mine Ben made a comment about his mum. Fred went mental and battered him, and now im confused as to what to do. Fred wants me to tell him is anyone says anything (which iv just had a lengthy conversation with someone who was taking Ben’s side) and now im worried that if i say anything Sion is going to be next on the hitlist but how can i just ignore all this?

Sounds to me like your friend needs therapy!

he’s tried it, he had alot of counciling after his dad walked out a few years ago. Im worried for him.

In short tell him straight. What you think.
Being a friend he will probably listen and take your advice.

By just ignoring it…

Heh, actually you might think about finding some less dramatic friends. I mean from what you described, the whole situation sounds downright retarded.

A few nights ago fred bruised the bones in his arm because he was so angry after a phone call will his ex he punched a lampost and cut all his knuckled open, and now just a few hrs ago he was going for a run and a friend of mine Ben made a comment about his mum. Fred went mental and battered him, and now im confused as to what to do.

tell him to buy a punching bag and a shotgun. im a very cool headed person, but i do get pissed at times like all human beings do. if im mad i punch my punching bag for a little while, if im really pissed i go to a gun range and shoot the shotgun for a while. its a safe way to vent fustration and slick that lust for violence that usally comes with it. as for everything else, sorry i cant help.

Games from the Halo series are great for venting frustration like that. There’s nothing like coming home from work, turning on your 360, and sniping a brute with a beam rifle. Various other games work as well.

Exercise is another (more healthy) alternative. Biking is my personal favorite method of burning off anything that’s gone wrong in my day.

exercising is good, i lift weights when im mad, but then again i do it when im not mad too… besides fred tried to exercise, but he ended up beating on his freind during a run.

when im fustrated and try to play a video game, it gets me more fustrated! but i know it does help some people.

sounds like you need to upgrade your friends.

Violent people are dangerous to be around anyway.

Tell him to do exercise. A sport, martial art, something that teaches discipline.

Also, let him know. “Bros’ before hoes’”. Although this really ain’t a friend-girlfriend relationship, you best friend should always be the first choice.

Also, fight with him ;x

In short:

“Sit down”
“have a drink”
“you’re loosing it, you know that?”
an listen untill the tide is over, don’t get angry, don’t get mad even if he does, make it clear to him that he has to think his way out of this instead of staying blocked on his problem…
Make it also clear that you’re there to help him, that you’re willing to share his pain, but that to share it, you have to understand it first… and then a lot of listening again.
And if he can’t find a solution, tell him very clearly that he should keep himself busy… But make certain he is not going to do anything rash, and don’t implant any ideas (this is the most dangerous part).

yeah just tell him it honestly. and don’t act like it effects your relationship with him.

Good mates will tell the truth and come out the other side with the same feelings.

People who suffer from this type of anger generally don’t accept advice the normal way; they need it punched in.

%<

whats this?

%<

A pickup truck full of oak rounds and a twelve pound splitting mall and an hour or two…

Until he acknowledges that he is wrong in getting angry, there’s not much you can do. In my early teen years I was a very angry kid and would “loose it” from time to time. However, the realisation that I was hurting others (as well as the power of Christ in my life) has allowed me to conqure it. Till now, I can say I’ve never “lost it” in anger for years.

The issue is, unless he realises that he’s hurting others, there’s nothing you can do really. Encourage him to get counciling. Not the junk like “punch this bag, now how do you feel.” But a straight up pastor or counciler who will look him in the face and say, “you’re ruining your life, and unless you get a grip of yourself, you are going to end up in jail, or worse. So shape up!”. When it comes down to it. I’ve noticed that 99% of anger in my life comes selfishness. Someone cut me off in traffic? How dare they! But hey, now I’m 1 minute behind. So what? It helps to look at anger and figure out why we feel that way. Most of the time it’s because we feel that we have a right to something that we don’t.

Have you tried talking to your friend about this? That would be the first thing I would do for my friend if he was in the same situation. But then on the other hand, as a Martial Artist, if my friend attacked me, I could handle my own. If you’re smaller, or not as strong as your friend you might not want to confront him. But on the other hand, think how you would feel if your friend landed in jail for assault, battery or worse yet, murder. In that case maybe the risk of being pummelled would be worth it.

Is he pumping iron?? You know weight lifting. That could be the reason. He’s taking regular pills for training that is legal but they have very strong effect on people.

Not the junk like “punch this bag, now how do you feel.” But a straight up pastor or counciler who will look him in the face and say, “you’re ruining your life, and unless you get a grip of yourself, you are going to end up in jail, or worse. So shape up!”.

“punching that bag” is a great way to relieve short term stress. “punching that bag” isnt hurting society, so it would make more sense for you to say

if you feel like your going to explode, “punch this bag” instead of puching your friend. if you find that you’re “punching this bag” way to often, you might need to seek profesional help.

everyone needs to take a good punch at a bag sometimes, its far healthier than bottleing it all up. if he dosent punch the bag first, he will probably punch the pastor.

Is he pumping iron?? You know weight lifting. That could be the reason. He’s taking regular pills for training that is legal but they have very strong effect on people.

they can, i lift regularly but i dont take any pills, so what do i know. exersice is good for stress too though, but i can imagine taking the wrong kind of pills might do somthing to your person.

ps
hey look! this one looks like mr T -->:ba:

I would trade the shotgun for something else to work out with. Shotguns are no good in the hands of frustrated people (who normally might not think about doing bad things with it, but frustration can do bad things).

And above all, if you what I suggest (together with NJROTC’s first suggestion)… the more you get mad, the faster you’ll get a nice body, it’s a win-win!

BA would be proud of you :ba:

Whoops, now I’m mad, should have read further before writing down a reply :o

Goes off to do some heavy lifting…

And above all, if you what I suggest (together with NJROTC’s first suggestion)… the more you get mad, the faster you’ll get a nice body, it’s a win-win!

oh come on! dont tell me you dont work out harder when your mad, well i do anyway.:smiley:

as for the shotgun thing,… yeah, i wouldnt give one to an angry person after all. i mean it helps me but,…