The guys from “I made this” don’t like giving critique, so I decided to post this here.
Here are two versions of one animation. In the old version I tried to make the motion more cartoony, with stronger holds of the individual poses, but some people told me it’s too stiff.
In the second version I fixed the motion a bit - it’s more fluid now, not so stiff and cartoony. I also fixed the eye motion of the talking donkey.
Tell me which version is better in your opinion?
Other siggestions/critiques?
Don’t cross post. Just kidding. Good idea since you really want some comments. It goes without saying that your work is very well done. I enjoy seeing your animations. I download animations and go onto other posts while the file is downloading, so I usually don’t reply.
When I saw the original version, the thing that struck me was the cigarette hand of the talking donkey. It seemed like there should be some sort of slight movement before he waves his hand around. Maybe give some motion to his mane as he moves his head.
The pupils in the talking donkey seem to appear and disappear. The other donkey has them constantly and seems to have more “sparkle” in his eyes. When the talking donkey looks down at his cigarette there are a couple of frames where it looks like his own left eye isn’t focused on the same spot. It appears to be looking down and more towards his nose.
hi, first post here, and i must say this is a sweet forum for the blender lover i am.
well your animation was great, i loved it, i thought it was very well done. And theres not much i can think of that would make it better, but after some thought i and reading the above post all i can do is add to it.
With the cigerette holding hand, maybe just have him wiggle the index and middle finger a bit, just to give it that bit of movement.
Lyubomir,
Nice work,
The differences between 1 and 2 are very subtle, I like the smoothness of 2 better and I like the adjustments you made to the eyes. My only comment would be that I would like to see the Donkey with the Hat look down at the finger being pointed at him after his surprised look. That’s more of a directors point rather than one of animation. The whole piece including the Juice on the table looks great. I look forward to seeing more of your work.
I like it as a whole, but I do have two overall crits. I’ll watch some more to get more specific: It feels like there’s too much motion going on- very hard to read, or to get more than one character in one viewing- i.e. you can see what donkey one is doing, or donkey two, but not both. Its almost like half the animation is wasted, or, that the attention flits back and forth between the two, without full comprehension.
My suggestion: render with a different camera twice: one for each donkey, with the other completely/partially out of the shot, to see the effect of each.
two: tone down the amount of head motion of the brash donkey, focus on the eyes animation instead.
these are just my opinions. You’re a far better animator than I am Iinfact, I’m just learning)
so take my opinions with a grain of salt.
Thanks everybody for taking the time to watch and comment on my anim.
I agree with all of your comments. Especially about the hand with the cigarette being too still. I’ll fix that for sure. And the graduate donkey looking at the finger being pointed at him is very good suggestion too.
About the talking donkey’s eyes: in the first version I made him cross-eyed. But it seems like his irises are too large and he doesn’t look cross-eyed, it just looks like the animation is bad. That’s why I fixed this.
I wouldn’t make the animation with two separate cameras for the two donkeys, because there is interaction between them almost all the time, and because it’s an animation study. In an animation study it’s important to show the whole action. Yea, in a movie, making two different shots of the two donkeys will make it look better, but it’s a director’s work, not animator’s.
But it’s a very good point about the head moving too much - it should be fixed too.
Thank you all again!
I only down loaded the 2nd one as my link is Vslow.
OK so you know it is good. Crit: the juice on the left looked hollow to me & maybe too much movement? they are bobbbing about like crazey, but then so what, thats what its about I guess.
