**- Updated from Focused Critique to Finished Projects - *
Tried some different things but in the end in never got better, so decided to call it a day and finish it!

Original Post
Looking for a fresh pair of eyes! I’m pretty happy with the result so far, and close to calling it a day. But i’ve been looking at this scene for so long, it get’s hard to spot any irregularities.

- Are there any things/points/areas that attract to much or to little attention?
- Any atmospherical/lightning anomalies?
- Tips/thoughts on the general composition of the scene


This is really impressive. Very detailed, and the lighting is subtle, but effective. I especially like the muted lens flare/bloom on the “eye”. That’s really easy to overdo, but I think you got it just right.

However, the story that this piece is telling raises a few questions. Clearly this machine has been out of commission for some time to have vines and even a tree growing on it. So, why is the light still on? Did it just awaken after a long slumber? Or is it dying a slow death? Some context clues wouldn’t hurt, but if the goal was to be mysterious, then mission accomplished.

The composition is also nice. There’s a good sense of scale, and depth. And the eye is drawn straight towards the eye light.

Also, just as a little atmospheric touch; I don’t know if the angles would work, but perhaps a little reflective caustics from the water surface. Yafaray is a great add-on for just such things.

Something like this:

Hi Matthew,
Thanks for your detailed response, i really appreciate it!

The idea is indeed that the mech ‘awakens’ after many years of being idle/destroyed/abandoned/etc.
I don’t mind a bit of mystery in a visual like this, but i agree that it maybe needs a little bit more in terms of visual clues about what exactly is going on. I’m gonne think about this!

Very nice idea about the caustics! Hadn’t thought of that at all but that might be a very nice and subtle touch. I also didn’t know Yafaray, so i’m definitely gonna check it out.

I’ll keep you updated with a new version, and thanks again!

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I featured you on BlenderNation, have a great weekend :slight_smile:

Awesome, thanks!! :blush:

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