Collision, mesh deform, cloth sim and dependency cycle

Hey mates, i need professional advise on some modifier setup.

The example of concept:
Imagine we have an elf character with long ears that have cloth on her head like hat or veil. And i want to simulate her ears jiggle through cloth simulate and on top of that simulate veil on her head.

What im doing:
So i have character, i duplicate her and leave only ears to cloth sim. Then i connect this ears mesh to character through mesh deform modifier, setup cloth on ears and bake it.
So part 1 is ready and i have ears jiggle.
Now i want to simulate veil on her head and heres where the problems comes.
I need to activate collision on character mesh to simulate veil on her head.
But as i activate collision my mesh deform modifier instantly turned off bcz of dependency cycle between character and ears cloth sim.

In blender below 4.2 this setup was working well and mesh deform modifier was not automatically turned off as i turned on collisions and blender was not cared about dependency cycle error in console, but on 4.2+ mesh deform instantly breaks as u have dependency cycle error.
I posted it on blender forum but devs said its not a bug and said “fix dependency cycle”.
It seems im complete idiot because i dont understand how to fix it, i cant turn off any modifier.
How do i fix this dependency cycle??? Is there maybe any way to force blender ignore dependency cycle???

Small blend file with concept, if u open it with 4.1 and below u can easy simulate cloth over object with mesh deform, but how to fix it in 4.2 ???
blend file