Anna - I think your revisions are well studied, & balance her portrait effectively.
Your original image, itself, was executed on a high level, technically & expressively. Had you not touched it, it would remain a very fine accomplishment; so, please don’t over-criticize yourself about “weak spots.”
Fascinating, & sometimes scary, to realize that the more excellent the work, the higher the level of possible critique.
We earn the right to be criticized on a higher level.
And, once a composition is at, or very near, completion, the harder it becomes to modify any part - every other element is affected, maybe demanding very subtle adjustments all around the design.
Lots of damn work…again, not so?
One of the great English poets (Keats? Shelley?) said something to the effect, “…a poem is never really finished, merely abandoned.”
Myself, I was a long time learning to stop designing, in frustration or exhaustion, when I knew I wanted a work to be perfect; & I was not making it better, merely different.
“Abandoning” that project for anywhere from 4 days to a month (always assuming a client’s schedule allowed that), may give new thought, offer clearer perspective.
Just my experience…
Finally, Anna, as part of that getting distance from a design, keeping 2-3-4 versions of it, over time, may bring great value to your future work.
Let’s say, you choose a version, #3, for now.
At some future point, you may surprise yourself by seeing something in the other versions that leads to a totally new idea, or a new way of using the original design.
Your work is really good; trust yourself to keep learning from it, whether or not you present some of it to others.
OK - let me risk being tedious w/ 1 more thought:
Have you raised her head slightly in your revised portrait?
I had the sense that she looked right at me (or thru me) - giving great force, a meta-physical radiance.
Looking upward now gives a sense of her awaiting that force, w/ calm, knowing it to be hers; & yet unaware of “me” the observer - so that she is detached, in that moment.
& “I,” observer, have neither threat nor gift from her in that moment - until?
Much dramatic potential in your creation, Anna.
Michael **Michael David Rubin **LEED-AP
Architect / Planner / Consultant
127 Eastern Avenue, Suite. 16.308
Gloucester MA 01930
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