A few observations:
(1) The second image is no-good because it places femme’s face in a partial shadow. She is the star of the moment, therefore her face must be completely without shadow.
(2) Right now, the gun is slightly “soft,” especially around her hand … and, her hand is soft, too. “Absolutely not.” The outline of the gun (esp. around the hammer area and the palm-side of the handgrip) must be sharp. (A slight edge-defining highlight might also be needed to delineate the hammer area (“two o’clock”) from its surroundings.
(3) The slash of sunlight across her palm is good, and it is critical. Look for ways to create diagonal lines converging, especially, upon that palm. “That palm” is symbolic of everything that she is demanding.
(4) It’s fine (this is “a toon” …) that the weapon is out-of-proportion in size. But the handgrip of that weapon needs to be consistent with the rest of it, and right now IMHO it isn’t. I’d slide the entire trigger assembly slightly down toward the muzzle so as to make the handgrip slightly thicker, and adjust her hand-grip accordingly. Don’t move the position of the muzzle relative to the top-left corner of the frame, or to the victim’s shadow: instead, tweak everything else.
(5) I suggest that a very slight “boundary-defining shadow” might be needed between her hair and the screen. Although the screen is of a different color, it is of very nearly the same intensity.
(6) “The crop” in post #16 is IMHO an excellent one: notice how stronger it makes the impact of the image! “The impact of the piece” exists between the muzzle, in upper-left, and the palm, (now) in lower-right. We don’t need a single thing below the top of that tabletop … and we never did. The gun is extending menacingly above the first “rule of thirds” line … her eyes are squarely on another “thirds” line … and her demand, her outstretched palm, is squarely on another.
Now, and without further ado: “Off to The Gallery with you!”